Navigating Relationships
Love Across the Miles
November 2025
By Debora Sepich, Ed.D.
Grandparenting is one of life’s sweetest roles. Yet in today’s world, more and more of us are separated from our grandchildren by hundreds — or even thousands — of miles. Jobs, education, and life changes scatter families across states and continents. The ache of distance is real: we miss birthday hugs, bedtime stories, and the chance to watch our grandchildren grow in the ordinary rhythms of daily life.
Grandparenting is one of life’s sweetest roles. Yet in today’s world, more and more of us are separated from our grandchildren by hundreds — or even thousands — of miles. Jobs, education, and life changes scatter families across states and continents. The ache of distance is real: we miss birthday hugs, bedtime stories, and the chance to watch our grandchildren grow in the ordinary rhythms of daily life.
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But love, unlike geography, knows no boundaries. Across the miles, grandparents can remain steady, nurturing influences in their grandchildren’s lives. What it takes is creativity, commitment, and a willingness to embrace new tools and traditions that keep bonds alive.
The Unique Bond The grandparent–grandchild connection is unlike any other. Grandparents provide unconditional love, a living link to family history, and wisdom forged through decades of experience. Grandchildren, in turn, infuse our lives with laughter, curiosity, and a renewed sense of purpose. Even when distance interrupts daily contact, this bond does not disappear. Instead, it becomes an invitation to be intentional. Every call, letter, or shared experience is magnified in meaning. |
"Distance is the biggest barrier for grandparents who want to see their grandchildren. Over half have at least one grandchild who lives more than 200 miles away, and about a third live more than 50 miles from their closest grandchild." ~ AARP Grandparenting Study |
The Challenge of Distance
Physical separation brings emotional challenges. We feel the absence of casual moments—picking a child up from school, cooking side by side, or cheering from the bleachers. Technology helps but cannot fully replace the warmth of being present. Guilt may creep in as milestones pass without us there, and sometimes children, especially as they grow older, become less inclined to share their daily lives with grandparents.
Yet there are silver linings. Distance prompts us to be more deliberate. Reunions become treasured events. Every interaction—no matter how small—becomes an opportunity to reinforce love. And sometimes, creativity born of necessity produces deeper connections than routine proximity ever could.
Physical separation brings emotional challenges. We feel the absence of casual moments—picking a child up from school, cooking side by side, or cheering from the bleachers. Technology helps but cannot fully replace the warmth of being present. Guilt may creep in as milestones pass without us there, and sometimes children, especially as they grow older, become less inclined to share their daily lives with grandparents.
Yet there are silver linings. Distance prompts us to be more deliberate. Reunions become treasured events. Every interaction—no matter how small—becomes an opportunity to reinforce love. And sometimes, creativity born of necessity produces deeper connections than routine proximity ever could.
Photo Credit: Centre for Ageing Better
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Technology as a Bridge We live in an age where grandparents can read bedtime stories over FaceTime, cheer at a soccer game through livestream, or send a quick “good luck” before a test via text message. Tools like Zoom, WhatsApp, and family-specific apps, such as Caribu and Marco Polo, make it possible to maintain closeness in ways previous generations could only dream of. The key is tailoring technology to the child’s age. For toddlers, silly filters, songs, and short video clips capture attention. For school-aged children, interactive games, story time, or collaborative projects can bring joy. Teens often prefer quick texts, memes, or commenting on their social media posts — gentle reminders that you care without intruding. Used with thoughtfulness, technology transforms screens from barriers into windows. |
Create Shared Experiences
Relationships thrive on shared experiences, and these can be cultivated even from afar. Grandparents and grandchildren can:
What matters is the sense of “doing life together.” Even small rituals — like Sunday morning video chats or seasonal craft projects — become anchors of connection.
Relationships thrive on shared experiences, and these can be cultivated even from afar. Grandparents and grandchildren can:
- Read the same book, taking turns to discuss chapters over video calls.
- Watch movies together using streaming party apps, complete with popcorn at both ends.
- Collaborate on projects, from building a scrapbook to tracing the family tree online.
- Celebrate holidays virtually, baking cookies together in separate kitchens or singing carols over Zoom.
What matters is the sense of “doing life together.” Even small rituals — like Sunday morning video chats or seasonal craft projects — become anchors of connection.
The Power of the Written Word
In a digital world, few things are as cherished as a handwritten letter. Children treasure envelopes with their name on the front and words penned in a grandparent’s unique script. Letters become keepsakes — time capsules of love and memory.
Postcards from travels, care packages with homemade treats, or “open when” notes for special occasions add magic. These tangible expressions tell grandchildren: I am thinking of you, even when I’m not there.
In a digital world, few things are as cherished as a handwritten letter. Children treasure envelopes with their name on the front and words penned in a grandparent’s unique script. Letters become keepsakes — time capsules of love and memory.
Postcards from travels, care packages with homemade treats, or “open when” notes for special occasions add magic. These tangible expressions tell grandchildren: I am thinking of you, even when I’m not there.
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"When grandchildren know they can count on a weekly video call, a monthly care package, or a nightly text, they feel loved and anchored. Rituals, no matter how small, weave bonds that endure across distance." ~ D.S. |
Rituals of Connection
Consistency builds security. When grandchildren know they can count on a weekly video call, a monthly care package, or a nightly text, they feel loved and anchored. Rituals, no matter how small, weave bonds that endure across distance. One grandfather set up “Monday News Day” calls, where grandkids shared highlights of their week. A grandmother and granddaughter knit together over FaceTime, mailing supplies back and forth as projects grew. Another couple wrote weekly letters filled with jokes, encouragement, and family stories — creating a rhythm of anticipation and joy. |
Family as a Team
Long-distance grandparenting flourishes when parents are partners. Coordinating schedules, sharing updates, and encouraging children to engage strengthens the relationship. Including siblings or cousins in group calls or projects fosters a sense of family unity, reinforcing that love is not limited to geography. Celebrating milestones — birthdays, graduations, recitals — becomes a collaborative effort. Whether by livestreaming an event, sending surprise gifts, or recording heartfelt video messages, grandparents can still be part of the story.
Navigating Emotions
Distance comes with grief. We mourn missed milestones and moments. We may feel lonely or disconnected at times. These emotions are natural. The key is to acknowledge them without letting them define the relationship.
Long-distance grandparenting flourishes when parents are partners. Coordinating schedules, sharing updates, and encouraging children to engage strengthens the relationship. Including siblings or cousins in group calls or projects fosters a sense of family unity, reinforcing that love is not limited to geography. Celebrating milestones — birthdays, graduations, recitals — becomes a collaborative effort. Whether by livestreaming an event, sending surprise gifts, or recording heartfelt video messages, grandparents can still be part of the story.
Navigating Emotions
Distance comes with grief. We mourn missed milestones and moments. We may feel lonely or disconnected at times. These emotions are natural. The key is to acknowledge them without letting them define the relationship.
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For long-distance grandparents, journaling, practicing gratitude, or joining support groups can provide perspective. Most importantly, reminding ourselves that love is not measured in miles but in presence — even virtual presence — helps us stay grounded. Storytelling and Legacy
One of the greatest gifts grandparents can offer is the gift of story. Sharing family history, cultural traditions, and personal anecdotes roots children in identity. Whether told over video chat, written in a letter, or compiled into a scrapbook, stories remind grandchildren of where they come from and who they belong to. These narratives are seeds planted across the miles — seeds that grow into resilience, pride and belonging. Making Visits Count
When in-person visits happen, they are sacred. Plan ahead to maximize time together, but allow space for spontaneity. Share meals, go on adventures, and start traditions unique to your relationship. Capture memories through photos and keepsakes. Most of all, be fully present by setting aside distractions and soaking up each moment. Saying goodbye will always tug at the heart, but planning the next visit and keeping rituals alive in between cushions the ache. |
Dr. Deb's Advice on Coping with the Emotions of Distance
"Being a long-distance grandparent isn’t just about logistics — it’s also about navigating the heartache that comes with missing everyday moments. The sadness of not being there for birthdays, graduations, or simple afternoon hugs is real, and it’s natural to feel lonely, disconnected, or even guilty at times. The key is to acknowledge these feelings without letting them define your role. Many grandparents find journaling or gratitude practices helpful — writing down even small joys, like a grandchild’s text or a funny video call, can shift perspective. Joining support groups or connecting with other grandparents who share similar challenges also offers encouragement and solidarity. Most importantly, remind yourself that love is not measured in miles. Every video call, letter, or care package carries the weight of presence. Your steady involvement — even from afar — provides your grandchildren with comfort, stability, and a sense of belonging. Distance can never erase love; it only challenges us to express it more intentionally." |
Image Credit: Geralt (Pixabay)
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Love Without Borders Grandparenting across distance is not easy. It requires effort, patience and creativity. But it also holds a profound truth: Love is not diminished by miles. In fact, love expressed intentionally — through letters, stories, technology, rituals and visits — can shine even brighter. Love across the miles is about more than maintaining connection. It is about shaping identity, passing down values, and reminding grandchildren that they are cherished — always, unconditionally, wherever they are in the world. In the end, distance is just geography. Love bridges the gap. |
Debora Sepich, Ed.D., is an accomplished entrepreneur, educator, and leadership coach who has dedicated her career to helping others embrace growth through transition. As a Joy Coach, Deb guides women to navigate change with clarity, resilience and purpose. She specializes in helping others see transitions not as endings but as opportunities for renewal and authentic living. Drawing on her background in business, academia and leadership, Deb equips women to uncover joy and confidence at every stage of life.
