October 2024 Featured Interview
Michele Hernandez Embraces Life After Widowhood,
Helps Others Do the Same
Michele Hernandez
Photo Courtesy: Soaring Spirits International
Photo Courtesy: Soaring Spirits International
About Michele Hernandez:
Michele Neff Hernandez is the founder and chief executive officer of Soaring Spirits International. Under Michele’s leadership, Soaring Spirits has grown from a dream on a napkin to a global nonprofit serving millions of widowed people. She is the creator of the Camp Widow program, featured in a PBS documentary in 2023. Camp Widow has supported and inspired thousands of widowed people since the first event held in July of 2009. It has grown from a single location in San Diego, California, to now include two U.S. locations and two international locations in Canada and Australia.
Michele was recognized as a 2021 Top Ten CNN Hero, was featured in the Gutsy docuseries on AppleTV+, and has received local, state and national recognition for her work in founding Soaring Spirits, including a letter of recognition from then Vice President Joe Biden.
She has been privileged to offer resilience trainings and workshops to a variety of special communities, including National Fallen Firefighters Foundation, Special Ops Survivors, first responders, and many others.
Michele resides in Simi Valley, California, and shares her life with her three amazing children, their awesome partners, her grand-cats, and one very Australian husband.
Michele Neff Hernandez is the founder and chief executive officer of Soaring Spirits International. Under Michele’s leadership, Soaring Spirits has grown from a dream on a napkin to a global nonprofit serving millions of widowed people. She is the creator of the Camp Widow program, featured in a PBS documentary in 2023. Camp Widow has supported and inspired thousands of widowed people since the first event held in July of 2009. It has grown from a single location in San Diego, California, to now include two U.S. locations and two international locations in Canada and Australia.
Michele was recognized as a 2021 Top Ten CNN Hero, was featured in the Gutsy docuseries on AppleTV+, and has received local, state and national recognition for her work in founding Soaring Spirits, including a letter of recognition from then Vice President Joe Biden.
She has been privileged to offer resilience trainings and workshops to a variety of special communities, including National Fallen Firefighters Foundation, Special Ops Survivors, first responders, and many others.
Michele resides in Simi Valley, California, and shares her life with her three amazing children, their awesome partners, her grand-cats, and one very Australian husband.
|
About Soaring Spirits International:
Soaring Spirits International is a 501(c)3 corporation. Its goal is to connect widowed people with each other and with the tools they need to move on. Through unique programs, this organization proves to widowed people from all walks of life that they are not alone. Its innovative, life-affirming events, groups, and virtual programs provide vital access to hope for widowed people everywhere — hope for the moment as well as hope for the future. The work of Soaring Spirits is dedicated to the memory of Michele’s late husband, Phillip Hernandez, who was killed in a cycling accident in August of 2005. His fun-loving, loyal and energetic spirit infuses her passion for creating community for widowed people. |
|
In 2005, when she was 35, Michele Neff Hernandez confronted the unthinkable. Her 39-year-old husband, out for his evening bike ride, was hit by a car and killed. Obviously, she was shocked and bereft. And the accident instantly made her the newly single matriarch of a blended family of six children. She didn’t have any peers who were widowed, so she set out to find resources to help her cope. Three years later, she founded Soaring Spirits International, an organization based in Simi Valley, California.
Carol Lippert Gray, associate editor, recently spoke with Michele about Soaring Spirits, which estimates 5 million people have participated in its programs since its inception.
Carol Lippert Gray, associate editor, recently spoke with Michele about Soaring Spirits, which estimates 5 million people have participated in its programs since its inception.
What did you do before you founded Soaring Spirits?
I was a personal trainer and owned my own business. I was focused on fitness.
How did you adjust to young widowhood?
I didn’t know any other people who were widowed, so I went looking for resources. I have a practical brain. And though this area was foreign, I was able to find my way. I realized I’d have to ask other widowed people.
In a year-long period, I connected with 30 other widows. That showed me the power of support. Each had their own perspective and experience. I became aware of the power of being in a group of people whose experiences are both universal and unique. I thought [about creating a] space where all widowed people could come together — asking them what they need and delivering a match.
I was a personal trainer and owned my own business. I was focused on fitness.
How did you adjust to young widowhood?
I didn’t know any other people who were widowed, so I went looking for resources. I have a practical brain. And though this area was foreign, I was able to find my way. I realized I’d have to ask other widowed people.
In a year-long period, I connected with 30 other widows. That showed me the power of support. Each had their own perspective and experience. I became aware of the power of being in a group of people whose experiences are both universal and unique. I thought [about creating a] space where all widowed people could come together — asking them what they need and delivering a match.
"Share the Road Ride" (Riding for Those Who Can't)
This event honors the lives of those who died in cycling-related accidents. These rides serve as a reminder to safely share roads with cyclists.
Photo Courtesy: Soaring Spirits International
This event honors the lives of those who died in cycling-related accidents. These rides serve as a reminder to safely share roads with cyclists.
Photo Courtesy: Soaring Spirits International
How did you create the organization?
Twenty-eight hundred people are widowed in the U.S. every day. I wanted to put grief and the experience of widowhood in the public eye. We tried to poll people about how to provide the best opportunity for serving their needs, and this continues today.
We offer newly widowed people a 12-week recurring program that combines education and peer support. We help them build resilience in the earliest stages of their grief. We foster holistic self-care.
Is there a limit to how long people can participate in the programs?
It’s open-ended. Eventually people will have heard the information enough that it’s no longer relevant. But we also help to build social structure and have regional social groups. There are 135 groups through North America and in Ireland. They meet twice a month, and there are local opportunities for hikes, walks, dinners, movies, and more. We’re here for the arc of the widowed experience. You never have to graduate.
Twenty-eight hundred people are widowed in the U.S. every day. I wanted to put grief and the experience of widowhood in the public eye. We tried to poll people about how to provide the best opportunity for serving their needs, and this continues today.
We offer newly widowed people a 12-week recurring program that combines education and peer support. We help them build resilience in the earliest stages of their grief. We foster holistic self-care.
Is there a limit to how long people can participate in the programs?
It’s open-ended. Eventually people will have heard the information enough that it’s no longer relevant. But we also help to build social structure and have regional social groups. There are 135 groups through North America and in Ireland. They meet twice a month, and there are local opportunities for hikes, walks, dinners, movies, and more. We’re here for the arc of the widowed experience. You never have to graduate.
|
You also offer something called Camp Widow.
Camp Widow is conference-style classes and workshops that offer weekend-long and one-day formats. We’ve held them 45 times in four countries. In 2025, we’ll be taking it on the road to Los Angeles, Houston, Seattle, Chicago, and Washington, D.C. We also have groups for LGBTQ+ widows. Being widowed really is one of the life experiences you have to have had to understand fully. The majority of our team has been widowed. They have the personal and professional experience to develop our outreach programs. We work with researchers at Schreiner University in Kerrville, Texas, to develop programs that interest people and provide the tools to build resilience. The widowhood experience is different for people who were widowed young vs. those widowed later in life, and for people who were widowed suddenly and those who helped a partner through a long illness or decline. It is different but there are so many similarities. We offer opportunities to connect around family situations and lifestyle situations. The programs bring people together regardless of anything else: culture, race, politics, parenting experience, etc. We’ve had widows who range in age from 18 to 89, and we validate that whatever they’re feeling is normal. |
Camp Widow Event (In-Person Program)
Photo Courtesy: Soaring Spirits International |
Tell us about your Newly Widowed packets.
They contain information about Soaring Spirits' programs, a copy of our newly widowed checklist, and a collection of personal messages from one widowed person to another. Newly Widowed Packets are provided free of charge to any widowed person through the generosity of a fellow widow/widower or one of the many groups/organizations that support Soaring Spirits’ programs. Each packet contains a dedication written by the packet donor.
We send out about 200 a week to newly widowed people and those who want to help them. If you’re an ally, we’ll send the packet to you, so you can give it to the person who needs it. We don’t send them unsolicited. We also send them to insurance agents, financial advisors, hospitals, agencies, and the general public.
They contain information about Soaring Spirits' programs, a copy of our newly widowed checklist, and a collection of personal messages from one widowed person to another. Newly Widowed Packets are provided free of charge to any widowed person through the generosity of a fellow widow/widower or one of the many groups/organizations that support Soaring Spirits’ programs. Each packet contains a dedication written by the packet donor.
We send out about 200 a week to newly widowed people and those who want to help them. If you’re an ally, we’ll send the packet to you, so you can give it to the person who needs it. We don’t send them unsolicited. We also send them to insurance agents, financial advisors, hospitals, agencies, and the general public.
What does your work mean to you?
It’s been the privilege of my life to do this work. It’s a transformative experience. Providing even a little solace and comfort so people feel cared for and have access to resources is meaningful. We want them to feel they need to live the heck out of this life because they don’t know how long they have, instead of feeling that life is ending.
Where do you find sanctuary?
I’m intentional about being with people who fill my cup. Last night, I played chess with my son, who is in his 30s. And I have a new grandson. I try to be present and engage, recognizing the blessing of being alive, because every day is a gift.
It’s been the privilege of my life to do this work. It’s a transformative experience. Providing even a little solace and comfort so people feel cared for and have access to resources is meaningful. We want them to feel they need to live the heck out of this life because they don’t know how long they have, instead of feeling that life is ending.
Where do you find sanctuary?
I’m intentional about being with people who fill my cup. Last night, I played chess with my son, who is in his 30s. And I have a new grandson. I try to be present and engage, recognizing the blessing of being alive, because every day is a gift.
