Healthy Mind
Embrace the Power of Letting Go
September 2025
Photo Credit: Ben Wicks (Unsplash)
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By Jillian Crocetta
It’s not easy to let go. Whether it is a bad feeling you have been harboring or a relationship that has run its course, letting go is like fighting against instinct. Perhaps it’s a will to follow the philosophy if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Why flounder into the unknown, when an option is to stay with the emotions and relationships that are familiar? Is it sentimentalism that keeps us from letting go? No matter the why, one thing is for certain: We do not like to be told to let something go. Defensiveness and self-doubt creeps in. You might ask yourself, “Does this mean that it is wrong to feel what I am feeling? Am I wrong to hold on?” It’s better to come to this conclusion of our own accord. |
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But there is power in letting something go, and this power activates your mind, body and soul. Your chest lightens and your mind feels aptly decluttered.
This may seem abstract, but let’s dig in.
This may seem abstract, but let’s dig in.
What Lingers
“You let go to reclaim your life,” says Sabrina Zayas, MSW. She recently finished her clinical residency at a public high school where she provided one-on-one counseling with students facing deep familial traumas as well as failed relationships and hurt feelings.
Although the word “trauma” is often a buzzword today, think of trauma as a bruise, purple, green, and in need of healing. “Trauma can lead to a cycle of replaying intense, unregulated emotions,” Zayas explains. This replay is like pressing your thumb into the bruise, each time feeling pain, and each time reacting however you react to pain, which is a little different every time. You might shiver, howl, scream or flail. These reactions to pain can be a mystery.
“You let go to reclaim your life,” says Sabrina Zayas, MSW. She recently finished her clinical residency at a public high school where she provided one-on-one counseling with students facing deep familial traumas as well as failed relationships and hurt feelings.
Although the word “trauma” is often a buzzword today, think of trauma as a bruise, purple, green, and in need of healing. “Trauma can lead to a cycle of replaying intense, unregulated emotions,” Zayas explains. This replay is like pressing your thumb into the bruise, each time feeling pain, and each time reacting however you react to pain, which is a little different every time. You might shiver, howl, scream or flail. These reactions to pain can be a mystery.
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But those negative emotions keep us stagnant, keeping the bruise prominent in its discoloration. “Letting go is not synonymous with forgetting,” Zayas elaborates. “Rather, it is about releasing the hold that certain relationships or emotions have on us and our present selves.” Although letting go may sometimes seem obvious, resistance to this advice may be due to sentimentalism, fear or vanity. This is not necessarily bad — it’s just human. In other words, we are all a bit too aware of what other people think of us. We don’t feel like we are wrong or incapable of helping ourselves, so we cling to what’s familiar. Useful Strategies No matter who tells you to let go, the onus is solely yours. Let yourself relish in this for a moment. Only you can curb those feelings and stagnate that trauma cycle. Zayas offers the practice of mindfulness as an effective strategy. She describes it as a solo act. Practicing mindfulness is as simple as it is powerful. “You sit with yourself and all of your thoughts. You take the time to acknowledge these and accept them for what they are until there is no self-doubt. And then, you let them free.” As earlier noted, it is not about forgetting; rather, it is about facing your emotions, no matter how abstract they may seem. It is an act of self-nurturing, stopping the thumb before it can press into the bruise, allowing the purple and green to fade. “Mindfulness is a practice of awareness,” Zayas continues. You do not come to further conclusions nor further analysis. You just notice what is right in front of you. It is as natural as noticing something in nature. There is no need to explain it. “Feelings are like clouds. They come and go,” she explains. Clouds are neither good nor bad. They simply exist, obscuring the sun or just floating along. |
MORE ABOUT MINDFULNESS
"Awareness of one’s internal states and surroundings. The concept has been applied to various therapeutic interventions — for example, mindfulness-based cognitive behavior therapy, mindfulness-based stress reduction, and mindfulness meditation —to help people avoid destructive or automatic habits and responses by learning to observe their thoughts, emotions, and other present-moment experiences without judging or reacting to them." ~ American Psychological Association
Simple ways to practice mindfulness (Mayo Clinic):
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A Personal Anecdote I sometimes feel that I am as stubborn as humans come. I can be headstrong, and I tend to double down. I also habitually seek validation from others. I am not proud of these things, but I am not ashamed either. It is a neutrality that I have accepted, though it has taken me a long time. I also still have trouble separating my pride from my feelings. But here is the thing: When I do, life feels a lot simpler. I do not avoid social gatherings in fear of seeing that person that hurt me. I do not avoid the person who bruised me, no matter how purple, or green, or if others didn’t recognize that the bruise was there to begin with. I reunited with a friend that I long avoided after a deep hurt in high school, which now leaves no mark or scar, almost as if it was never there. We joke about the time we lost. It is a little sad but cathartic as well. I realize that by avoiding her for so long, I hurt her, too. I am not perfect, but I will continue to acknowledge my feelings with the understanding that some will linger. And like clouds, they will float away someday. |
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Jillian Crocetta is a New York City-based human resources professional and freelance writer/editor who enjoys writing in the areas of identity, place, empowerment, and health & wellness. Jillian is pursuing an MFA in creative nonfiction at Queens College. In addition to the articles she has written for Sanctuary, her work has been published in Guesthouse and New Voices, among other publications.
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