Play & Book Excerpts
The Bad Girl's Guide to Discovering Purpose
(Nvision Solutions)
© Nijiama Smalls
Chapter 10: The Power of Femininity
There is power in womanhood. There is power in femininity.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that femininity is weakness. So, we tone down our femininity or put it to the side by saying things such as:
This also shows up when we laugh at the cringy, sexist, raunchy joke made by our male counterparts in order to fit in, to be seen as one of the guys.
Contrary to what some may believe, God did not create women to be weak or secondary beings. He created us to walk confidently into kitchens, boardrooms, conference rooms, film sets, farms, classrooms, exam rooms, and sanctuaries—wherever we are called to be in our purpose—with our heads held high. Whether we wear heels, trendy flats, boots, or sneakers, we are meant to walk with an awareness of the power we possess. And that power is not sexual.
Femininity is power because it nurtures. It creates safety. It invites trust. It builds connection. Samson felt safe enough with Delilah to reveal his most sacred secret, not because she seduced him, but because she created emotional intimacy and familiarity. Femininity allows us to negotiate with wisdom, build relationships with depth, and understand people beyond what they say aloud. This is why femininity is often misunderstood, underutilized, and feared.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that femininity is weakness. So, we tone down our femininity or put it to the side by saying things such as:
- I’m not emotional
- I think like a man
- I’m not like other women
- I don’t need help
- I don’t cry
This also shows up when we laugh at the cringy, sexist, raunchy joke made by our male counterparts in order to fit in, to be seen as one of the guys.
Contrary to what some may believe, God did not create women to be weak or secondary beings. He created us to walk confidently into kitchens, boardrooms, conference rooms, film sets, farms, classrooms, exam rooms, and sanctuaries—wherever we are called to be in our purpose—with our heads held high. Whether we wear heels, trendy flats, boots, or sneakers, we are meant to walk with an awareness of the power we possess. And that power is not sexual.
Femininity is power because it nurtures. It creates safety. It invites trust. It builds connection. Samson felt safe enough with Delilah to reveal his most sacred secret, not because she seduced him, but because she created emotional intimacy and familiarity. Femininity allows us to negotiate with wisdom, build relationships with depth, and understand people beyond what they say aloud. This is why femininity is often misunderstood, underutilized, and feared.
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Nijiama Smalls is a bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of The Black Girl’s Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds, the first virtual space dedicated to the emotional healing of Black women and families as well as the nonprofit The Black Girl Healing Project. Her work centers on healing, self-awareness, purpose and identity, and has impacted women across the globe through books, community programs, and digital platforms.
“Many women believe they’ve missed their moment or made the ‘wrong’ choices. This book reminds women that nothing about their journey is wasted. Purpose isn’t about starting over—it’s about understanding where you are and why.” ~ Nijiama Smalls |
Nijiama Smalls
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