Navigating Relationships
The Pandora’s Box of DNA Testing: Open at Your Own Risk
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By Jill Valentino
According to Discover Magazine, paternity tests were introduced in the 1920s. These initial tests were simple, blood type comparisons; for instance, if a child’s blood type was incompatible with their parents, at the very least, it could be concluded that the man in question was not the biological father.
Fast-forward 100 years and DNA testing as we know it today is incredibly more advanced than its "blood type comparison" beginnings. Not only can people learn answers to paternity questions in just a few weeks, but they can also, with near certainty, answer maternity questions, discover the existence of unknown family members, and even assess their ethnicity with up to 99% accuracy. Companies like Ancestry, 23andMe and MyHeritage provide this testing service, commonly called DNA or ancestry testing. Many high-profile people have shared the results of their DNA testing: actress Mayim Bialik proclaimed herself the “Jewie-est person anyone knows” upon discovering her 99.7% Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry on her YouTube channel; TV host and comedian Conan O’Brien shared his rare 100% Irish ethnicity (causing his doctor to exclaim, “you’re inbred!”) on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert; and Senator Bernie Sanders learned of the challenges his Jewish father faced as an American immigrant which was broadcasted in a 2012 PBS documentary Finding Your Roots.
Sounds fascinating, right? Wouldn’t most people want to learn more about who they are and where they came from?
Be Prepared to Expect the Unexpected
According to Discover Magazine, paternity tests were introduced in the 1920s. These initial tests were simple, blood type comparisons; for instance, if a child’s blood type was incompatible with their parents, at the very least, it could be concluded that the man in question was not the biological father.
Fast-forward 100 years and DNA testing as we know it today is incredibly more advanced than its "blood type comparison" beginnings. Not only can people learn answers to paternity questions in just a few weeks, but they can also, with near certainty, answer maternity questions, discover the existence of unknown family members, and even assess their ethnicity with up to 99% accuracy. Companies like Ancestry, 23andMe and MyHeritage provide this testing service, commonly called DNA or ancestry testing. Many high-profile people have shared the results of their DNA testing: actress Mayim Bialik proclaimed herself the “Jewie-est person anyone knows” upon discovering her 99.7% Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry on her YouTube channel; TV host and comedian Conan O’Brien shared his rare 100% Irish ethnicity (causing his doctor to exclaim, “you’re inbred!”) on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert; and Senator Bernie Sanders learned of the challenges his Jewish father faced as an American immigrant which was broadcasted in a 2012 PBS documentary Finding Your Roots.
Sounds fascinating, right? Wouldn’t most people want to learn more about who they are and where they came from?
Be Prepared to Expect the Unexpected
From Ancestry.com’s Terms and Conditions: “When using our Services, you may discover unexpected facts about yourself or your family. You may also come across content you find offensive, inaccurate, or otherwise objectionable. While you may have a strong emotional reaction, as may others with whom you share these discoveries, you expressly agree to assume all risks associated with using the Services and not to hold Ancestry liable for any social, emotional, or legal consequences of such discoveries or encounters.”
Over the years, strongly worded disclaimers and warnings have been posted on DNA testing company websites as more people choose to send their saliva to a lab to gain insight into their history and heritage. However, while taking the test is extremely simple, the information one learns in return might be anything but.
Over the years, strongly worded disclaimers and warnings have been posted on DNA testing company websites as more people choose to send their saliva to a lab to gain insight into their history and heritage. However, while taking the test is extremely simple, the information one learns in return might be anything but.
When Family Secrets from Long Ago Come to Light
As recently as a generation ago, merely speaking about alternative methods for conceiving children was considered taboo. Even today, many infertile couples choose to keep their struggle to conceive a child to themselves because of the shame that has historically shrouded infertility. Due to an increase in people seeking to learn more about their family history through DNA testing, some folks are learning that infertility was part of a familial history they were never informed of — and DNA test results are now delivering shocking truths.
The Livoti family of Hopewell Junction, New York, exemplifies the wide range of reactions people can have upon receiving their DNA test results. Brandi was interested in taking an ancestry test because she and her younger daughter both develop deep golden tans in the summer. She questioned the accuracy of her Irish and Polish heritage, as most people of similar ethnic makeup are not known for having skin that tans easily. In fact, according to The Irish Times, as much as 75 percent of the Irish population “have a fair complexion, burn easily, and tan with difficulty – or not at all.” After pursuing an Ancestry DNA test, Brandi learned she was 50% Irish and 50% Polish, so her ethnic identity remained as she always thought it to be.
Brandi’s husband, Vincent, took an Ancestry test she had gifted him after receiving her own results. “His mother is adopted,” Brandi explained. “We knew she was born in Brooklyn to a 16-year-old whose last name was ‘Italiano,’ but I always said to Vinnie, ‘You look like Adam Sandler” [who is Jewish, not Italian]. “I don’t think you’re 100 percent Italian,” she ascertained.
“So,” Brandi continues, “we knew Vincent’s dad was from Sicily right off the boat, but I had a feeling his mother wasn’t 100 percent Italian.”
After taking the test, the results that came back were shocking.
“I see Vincent looking at his results on the computer with a [shocked expression]. So I ask him, what’s the matter?”
As recently as a generation ago, merely speaking about alternative methods for conceiving children was considered taboo. Even today, many infertile couples choose to keep their struggle to conceive a child to themselves because of the shame that has historically shrouded infertility. Due to an increase in people seeking to learn more about their family history through DNA testing, some folks are learning that infertility was part of a familial history they were never informed of — and DNA test results are now delivering shocking truths.
The Livoti family of Hopewell Junction, New York, exemplifies the wide range of reactions people can have upon receiving their DNA test results. Brandi was interested in taking an ancestry test because she and her younger daughter both develop deep golden tans in the summer. She questioned the accuracy of her Irish and Polish heritage, as most people of similar ethnic makeup are not known for having skin that tans easily. In fact, according to The Irish Times, as much as 75 percent of the Irish population “have a fair complexion, burn easily, and tan with difficulty – or not at all.” After pursuing an Ancestry DNA test, Brandi learned she was 50% Irish and 50% Polish, so her ethnic identity remained as she always thought it to be.
Brandi’s husband, Vincent, took an Ancestry test she had gifted him after receiving her own results. “His mother is adopted,” Brandi explained. “We knew she was born in Brooklyn to a 16-year-old whose last name was ‘Italiano,’ but I always said to Vinnie, ‘You look like Adam Sandler” [who is Jewish, not Italian]. “I don’t think you’re 100 percent Italian,” she ascertained.
“So,” Brandi continues, “we knew Vincent’s dad was from Sicily right off the boat, but I had a feeling his mother wasn’t 100 percent Italian.”
After taking the test, the results that came back were shocking.
“I see Vincent looking at his results on the computer with a [shocked expression]. So I ask him, what’s the matter?”
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Vincent replies, “I am sixty percent Jewish. Twenty-five percent Irish, and only eight percent Italian.”
After looking through Vincent’s DNA relatives, they discover that none of his matches share his surname, Livoti. In fact, neither Brandi nor Vincent recognized a single person listed on his paternal side. “They were all complete strangers!” Brandi exclaimed. |
"After looking through Vincent’s DNA relatives, they discover that none of his matches share his surname, Livoti. In fact, neither Brandi nor Vincent recognized a single person listed on his paternal side." |
The couple eventually hypothesized that the man Vincent knew to be his father (long deceased) was not his biological father. This is further confirmed after Vincent’s older sister takes a DNA test after learning about Vincent’s discovery.
Vincent's sister’s test led to another big surprise; while she shares Vincent's ethnic makeup, her paternal DNA relatives were completely different. However, their maternal relatives were exactly the same. And, the same phenomenon occurred with another sister after she took a DNA test.
“All three siblings have the same mother but three different fathers,” Brandi explains. “We wondered how in the world that could happen! His sisters were born in the 1950s and Vincent in the 1960s. This was before [cryogenic] sperm banking even existed!”
While the mystery of how Vincent’s mother became pregnant three different times by three different fathers has not been revealed (and likely never will be), one of Vincent’s sister’s newly-discovered half-siblings contacted him through Ancestry and told him about a little-known practice infertile couples utilized back in the 1950s and 60s in New York City. Couples struggling to conceive would visit a New York City hospital, and the women would somehow become pregnant by the doctors who worked in the hospital.
The doctors were all Jewish.
The Aftermath of Surprising DNA Results
Since learning of Vincent’s DNA results, the Livoti family has embraced their new identity and made several familial connections through their matches on Ancestry. They even met some of Vincent's half-siblings in person.
While the surprising results of the Livoti family’s DNA testing experience have resulted in positive, new family connections, that is sadly not always the case. Support groups (called ‘NPE' or ‘Not Parent Expected' groups) have begun popping up across the country to help people cope with unexpected DNA results.
According to the NPE Friends Fellowship website, 5-10% of the world’s population are NPEs, which can be comforting to anyone who finds themselves in that situation. Knowing there is a place to go to find help, support, and fellowship regarding such a life-altering revelation can be an essential first step towards acceptance.
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Jill Valentino is an educator, freelance writer, essayist, tutor, and educational video and teaching materials creator. Her work has been published in Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Country Living, Elle Decor, House Beautiful, Woman's Day, and Hudson Valley Parent magazine. She is a regular contributor for Sanctuary.
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