Smart Steps
Women business leaders and entrepreneurs from various industries share their tips and advice in a "quick read format" on a variety topics.
Topic: Tips for Perfectionists Experiencing Overwhelm
March 2025
Lindsay Pfister-Kerr, Ed.D., ACC
Photo Courtesy: Lindsay Pfister-Kerr |
Lindsay Pfister-Kerr, Ed.D., ACC, is a dynamic leader, educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. From her early days as a classroom teacher to leadership roles in education, Lindsay has been a catalyst for growth and empowerment. With a doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Pittsburgh, she is passionate about inspiring others to reach their full potential and create positive change in their lives.
Lindsay now focuses on coaching, writing and speaking, guiding clients to overcome stress and perfectionism. As an ICF Certified Coach, she uses a personalized approach to foster resilience and confidence, helping clients achieve meaningful change. Her work is deeply personal, informed by her own journey of transformation, and she integrates mindfulness techniques to build resilience and manage stress. A sought-after speaker, Lindsay captivates audiences with her relatable style, engaging humor, and practical insights. Outside of her professional life, she enjoys time with her family, interior decorating, and finding joy in life's small moments. "Your mind may insist that everything is essential, but reviewing the facts helps separate urgency from self-imposed pressure." ~ Dr. Lindsay Pfister-Kerr |
Have you ever watched a plate spinner? The performer places a plate on a thin rod and spins it, then adds another, and another — rushing back to keep each one spinning before they slow down and crash. The tension builds as they struggle to maintain balance while adding more plates.
Life as a perfectionist can feel like that.
You start with one expectation or task, then add another, and another, until you can’t see where it all began. You push to keep everything moving flawlessly, knowing that if you falter, it might all come crashing down. As the pressure mounts, overwhelm starts, bringing its unwelcome companions: anxiety, stress and worry.
Sound familiar?
Perfectionists often believe they must manage everything alone, fearing that admitting struggle means revealing weakness. Instead of asking for help or reassessing priorities, they push harder. But this cycle only deepens the overwhelm. Breaking free requires a mindset shift that acknowledges limits and prioritizes self-compassion.
Here are some dos and don’ts to help you step out of the perfectionist trap and regain clarity and control.
Life as a perfectionist can feel like that.
You start with one expectation or task, then add another, and another, until you can’t see where it all began. You push to keep everything moving flawlessly, knowing that if you falter, it might all come crashing down. As the pressure mounts, overwhelm starts, bringing its unwelcome companions: anxiety, stress and worry.
Sound familiar?
Perfectionists often believe they must manage everything alone, fearing that admitting struggle means revealing weakness. Instead of asking for help or reassessing priorities, they push harder. But this cycle only deepens the overwhelm. Breaking free requires a mindset shift that acknowledges limits and prioritizes self-compassion.
Here are some dos and don’ts to help you step out of the perfectionist trap and regain clarity and control.
Dos:
Don’ts:
Perfectionism tricks you that if you work harder, everything will stay under control. Truth is, balance comes from stepping back, reassessing, and giving yourself grace. Let a few plates wobble. The world won’t shatter, and your stress might start to fade.
- Be Mindful: Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions when you notice overwhelm creeping in. What triggered it? How does it feel in your body? Maybe your inner critic is whispering that you must clear your to-do list before the day ends, or you feel tension in your shoulders. The sooner you recognize these signals, the sooner you can intervene.
- Reconnect with Your Body: The brain isn’t designed to multitask. When overwhelm takes over, shift focus to a physical sensation. Notice the pressure of your feet on the floor, rhythm of your breath, or sounds around you. This simple act can break the cycle of racing thoughts and bring you back to the present moment.
- Prioritize and Identify the Things You CAN Control: Overwhelm makes everything feel urgent, but not everything is. Step back and ask yourself: What truly needs my attention right now? What can I control? Your mind may insist that everything is essential, but reviewing the facts helps separate urgency from self-imposed pressure.
- Determine Next Steps: Once you’ve identified what matters most, decide where to direct your energy. What is the first step? Clarity comes from action.
- Take Action: Follow through on your next step. Small, intentional actions can help shift you from feeling stuck to empowered.
- Be Kind to Yourself: No one escapes overwhelm perfectly. If you struggle with these steps, that’s okay. Reflect on what went well, what you learned, and what you can do differently next time. Growth, not flawlessness, is the goal.
Don’ts:
- Operate on Autopilot: Your brain loves efficiency, but it may default to patterns that increase stress. Instead of reacting automatically, pause and choose your response with intention.
- Ignore or Wallow in Overwhelm: Pretending your stress doesn’t exist won’t make it disappear, but dwelling on it gives it more power. Acknowledge the feeling, remind yourself that it will pass, and focus on what you can do.
- Judge Yourself Harshly: Self-criticism doesn’t lead to improvement. It only reinforces stress. Instead of asking ‘Why can’t I handle this?’ try ‘What can I learn from this?’ Growth stems from curiosity, not self-punishment.
- Chase the Illusion of Perfection: Perfection doesn’t exist. No matter how much effort you put in, you’ll always find room for improvement. Learning and adapting are far more valuable than chasing an unattainable ideal.
Perfectionism tricks you that if you work harder, everything will stay under control. Truth is, balance comes from stepping back, reassessing, and giving yourself grace. Let a few plates wobble. The world won’t shatter, and your stress might start to fade.
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