Healthy Mind
Ditch the Calendar: Spontaneity Can Reap Positive Outcomes
July 2025
Image Credit: Richard Duijnstee
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By Jillian Crocetta
Summer is in full swing. and our calendars are filling up quickly. Weekends are blocked off with graduation parties, weddings and barbeques. Honestly, we are lucky if we get a Saturday or Sunday to ourselves. For the most part, this is refreshing. After all, it was an inevitably long and gray winter. And yet, why does the very act of planning start to exhaust us? Weren’t we waiting all winter for plans like these? But planning can be exhausting. There is the constant exchange of text messages: ‘No, this doesn’t work for me’ or ‘How about next Saturday?’ Sometimes, there is the accidental double-booking followed by the guilt-ridden cancellation of one of those plans. How about the reluctant follow-through of a plan you made months ago? Reluctant because you could have never known months ago that this dinner would fall right in the middle of a stressful work week. The stress of keeping a calendar can be overwhelming, no matter how diligently you plan ahead. Define Spontaneity in Your Own Way |
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The idea of being spontaneous makes many of us wince. True, planning can be exhausting, but having no plan seems beyond exhausting. Straying from a calendared week suggests a collapse in order, I think. As the years go by, the more we feel safe in the clutches of our calendared week. It is a double-edged sword.
Existentially, I think it has to do with counteracting the randomness of the world. Order gives us purpose and quells the anxiety of living in a world that is moving in a hundred different ways. Even as many of us resent the “Sunday scaries” and the repetitive work week that follows, we then feel lost when that structure collapses. When we take a sick day or have a midweek holiday, we lose — if only for a moment — the structure that grounds us in this ever-moving world. I am not saying that we need to rip this structure apart in favor of spontaneity. I think we all have too much anxiety to just go with the flow all the time. Instead, I suggest that we redefine spontaneity. This definition does not dismiss order and doesn’t undermine or do away with our calendars and advanced planning. |
On Spontaneity in Retirement: "But what both my desert sojourn and my initial foray into retirement are reminding me of is the great benediction of spontaneity — freedom. A delicious sense of liberation, possibility, and the (let's call it) spiritual opportunity to rebalance the balancing act between doing and being, between sticking to agendas and following what moves me in each moment, each hour, each day." ~ Gregg Levoy, Author and Speaker, Psychology Today |
To be spontaneous, to me, is about staying in tune with yourself. Skip the grocery store and get takeout on a long and exhausting workday. Or go on a walk with a friend if that’s what recharges you. Invite your neighbor over for drinks on a Friday (or maybe two) because why not? Or drop everything and head to bed early.
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"Instead, I suggest that you take inventory of your free time and keep it that way: free. Being spontaneous is about knowing that you are in the throes of free time and not trying to change it. It can even be about embracing it." ~ J.C. |
Start With Weeknights
You’ll need to plan for some free time to embrace spontaneity, which is oxymoronic in nature, but hear me out. I’m not suggesting that you cancel dinner plans with your friends in defiance. Instead, I suggest that you take inventory of your free time and keep it that way: free. Being spontaneous is about knowing that you are in the throes of free time and not trying to change it. It can even be about embracing it. |
You may have some free time on an occasional weekend, when there are no weddings, dinners, or vacation plans. But weekends can also feel like a high-stakes sacrifice, when there are obligations in the mix. I’m not suggesting that you ditch plans when it comes to your family. Instead, get creative with free time.
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Start with weeknights and small acts of spontaneity. Watch a movie with your spouse, take a hike, or skip the weekday chores and draw a bath instead. Weeknights should be about listening to yourself and your needs after the stressors of the day.
Don’t Put Pressure on Yourself Ultimately, being spontaneous is about freeing yourself from yourself. It isn’t just about doing something that wasn’t written on your calendar. There are also plenty of other expectations we place on ourselves that are not social. So many women put immense pressure on themselves to maximize every day. Instinctively, we might plan a quick grocery run at lunch or return something at the store, rather than just enjoying a lunch break. Freeing yourself from plans is less about the actual act of stripping your calendar of obligation and more about choosing what the rest of your day will entail. It is not about holding yourself to no standard; rather, it's not holding yourself to such a high standard. The Rewards Are Well Worth It
I can’t tell you that this shift will take away all of your anxieties, but I’m thinking that it will take away some. |
Is Your Calendar Still Too Full?
Plan a Mental Health Day “A mental health day is a limited time away from your usual responsibilities with the intention of recharging and rejuvenating your mental health. It is an intentional act to alleviate distress and poor mood and motivation, while improving attitude, morale, functioning, efficiency and overall well-being.”
A few of the benefits include:
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Remember that the goal of spontaneity is not just to rid ourselves of the paralysis we feel when there is too much to do; it also reminds us that we are still in the driver’s seat, no matter how menial and similar the days seem.
Additional Reading:
Why Downtime is Essential for Brain Health (Cleveland Clinic)
Why We Need to be Spontaneous (Psychology Today)
Benefits of Spontaneity (Myers Davis, Life Coaching & Disability Advocacy)
Why Downtime is Essential for Brain Health (Cleveland Clinic)
Why We Need to be Spontaneous (Psychology Today)
Benefits of Spontaneity (Myers Davis, Life Coaching & Disability Advocacy)
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Jillian Crocetta is a New York City-based human resources professional and freelance writer/editor who enjoys writing in the areas of identity, place, empowerment, and health & wellness. Jillian is pursuing an MFA in creative nonfiction at Queens College. In addition to the articles she has written for Sanctuary, her work has been published in Guesthouse and New Voices, among other publications.
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