Play & Book Excerpts
Dear Radiant One...
(GracePoint Publishing)
© Phoebe Leona
Find a short Q&A with Phoebe concerning dance as an outlet to healing is included this month.
EXCERPT
Dear Joy and Happiness,
Recently I heard about a billboard advertisement for a very popular online store that said, “Happiness is just one click away.” I immediately threw up in my mouth a little bit. That’s what most people believe, or rather have been conditioned to believe, about the two of you. Luckily, my mom ingrained in me at an early age that “Joy was found in experiences, not things.” Sure, I
was a lucky kid that got presents under my tree at Christmas. There is even a photo or two of me with my mouth gaped wide open as I entered our living room on Christmas morning to find out how lucky I was with Santa.
My parents were not rich. When I was a baby, we lived off welfare for a bit, and after they split up it was even more evident how we were lower middle class. But I was always grateful for what we had and what was given to me. What filled me up with the two of you most during the Christmases after my parents split were the letters my mom wrote me for Christmas when we were not together. I still have them. She usually wrote about the story of my first Christmas as a baby at the cabin and when my eyes lit up looking at the Christmas tree lights. The letter always ended with what my Christmas gift would be that year.
I remember I had to spend one Christmas with my dad in South Carolina at my grandparents ’house. There were presents under the tree for me that I had unwrapped early that morning but what I jumped up and down for was my annual letter from Mom. I was alone in my room and read that she registered me for classes at a prestigious ballet school in my area. I ran out to my dad to tell him the news, I was leaping and dancing around full of the two of you, I could not contain myself! I remember seeing my grandparents looking at me puzzled that I was not this joyful about the sweaters they got me.
I am grateful to have felt the truth of you both in these moments, and not lost in the things. When I was young, I was filled with you both so often that I probably didn’t recognize when you were there; I noticed you Joy and Happiness more when you were not there.
You were in my dance moves whether with friends or alone, performing, rehearsing, or just having fun. You were in me as I played with my friends at sleepovers, spent time with Gabby riding bikes, exploring together in our neighborhood, or just being silly with her brothers. You were there on those summer nights I played outside and danced around with the fairies and fireflies that I sometimes caught in a jar for brief moments because I knew their Joy and Happiness were experienced in their freedom of flight and light.
When I got a bit older, you two came to me through dance opportunities accompanied by Enthusiasm, Inspiration, Gratitude, and Appreciation. I shared you both during slow dances with crushes, kisses, and phone calls with my boyfriends.
You were there years later, in my reunion with my dad, in that first hug we shared after eighteen years since the last time I saw him when he shoved me out the door on that rainy night. All the years we both missed you, and then we felt you again in that first hug and all the other hugs we got to share in the following four years. You both stayed close by while we reconnected. After he died though, it took some time to allow you back in. I felt you more on a subtle level within my grieving as I received mystical messages from him to keep going. Since then, I have begun to feel your presence more and more authentically from within, despite the external Factors.
In 2019, my mantra was to “Move with Joy.” I gave up my apartment to be more nomadic so I could really make choices that were aligned with you both, Joy and Happiness, not from stress, money, or fear. When I intentionally aligned with you both, I began to feel how everything was infused with you. By the time 2020 came around, I felt a great sense of freedom and shifted my word to “Trust” to be grounded in knowing that you two were always present in the process of my life unfolding. When the threat of the lockdown was approaching, I was in Bali. Although I was somewhat lost and confused, like all of us were that March, I knew you would guide me to a safe place that would allow me the deepest experience of you both. And I was right. I arrived in West Virginia to be with my family, had the freedom to go inward, and build a stronger relationship with you both, which was such a gift. While the world was being tossed around in chaos, I watched in awe as a baby fox played in our yard. I danced in my room like I was young again, I wrote this book, I healed my mother wounds as I listened to stories about my gramma’s childhood and contemplated different realms of reality with my mom. I would check back in with the outer world and see that they were still in the sea of chaos, anxiety, anger, separation, isolation, confusion, and grief. I’d shake my head in disbelief that my human friends still don’t get you, Joy and Happiness.
So, I sit here now and wonder how we can let you both be seen, heard, and felt across our world and Universe to shift our consciousness. I know the three of us can’t do it alone. So, my dear friends, Joy and Happiness, how can we recruit more people? Maybe this story is one way to get them closer to you. Tell me, show me. I will continue to play, dance, and sing out of gratitude for you in hopes that others will hear and join in. I am doing my small part for all of us, and I am humbled you somehow chose me to be one of your ambassadors.
With light and love,
Phoebe
Dear Joy and Happiness,
Recently I heard about a billboard advertisement for a very popular online store that said, “Happiness is just one click away.” I immediately threw up in my mouth a little bit. That’s what most people believe, or rather have been conditioned to believe, about the two of you. Luckily, my mom ingrained in me at an early age that “Joy was found in experiences, not things.” Sure, I
was a lucky kid that got presents under my tree at Christmas. There is even a photo or two of me with my mouth gaped wide open as I entered our living room on Christmas morning to find out how lucky I was with Santa.
My parents were not rich. When I was a baby, we lived off welfare for a bit, and after they split up it was even more evident how we were lower middle class. But I was always grateful for what we had and what was given to me. What filled me up with the two of you most during the Christmases after my parents split were the letters my mom wrote me for Christmas when we were not together. I still have them. She usually wrote about the story of my first Christmas as a baby at the cabin and when my eyes lit up looking at the Christmas tree lights. The letter always ended with what my Christmas gift would be that year.
I remember I had to spend one Christmas with my dad in South Carolina at my grandparents ’house. There were presents under the tree for me that I had unwrapped early that morning but what I jumped up and down for was my annual letter from Mom. I was alone in my room and read that she registered me for classes at a prestigious ballet school in my area. I ran out to my dad to tell him the news, I was leaping and dancing around full of the two of you, I could not contain myself! I remember seeing my grandparents looking at me puzzled that I was not this joyful about the sweaters they got me.
I am grateful to have felt the truth of you both in these moments, and not lost in the things. When I was young, I was filled with you both so often that I probably didn’t recognize when you were there; I noticed you Joy and Happiness more when you were not there.
You were in my dance moves whether with friends or alone, performing, rehearsing, or just having fun. You were in me as I played with my friends at sleepovers, spent time with Gabby riding bikes, exploring together in our neighborhood, or just being silly with her brothers. You were there on those summer nights I played outside and danced around with the fairies and fireflies that I sometimes caught in a jar for brief moments because I knew their Joy and Happiness were experienced in their freedom of flight and light.
When I got a bit older, you two came to me through dance opportunities accompanied by Enthusiasm, Inspiration, Gratitude, and Appreciation. I shared you both during slow dances with crushes, kisses, and phone calls with my boyfriends.
You were there years later, in my reunion with my dad, in that first hug we shared after eighteen years since the last time I saw him when he shoved me out the door on that rainy night. All the years we both missed you, and then we felt you again in that first hug and all the other hugs we got to share in the following four years. You both stayed close by while we reconnected. After he died though, it took some time to allow you back in. I felt you more on a subtle level within my grieving as I received mystical messages from him to keep going. Since then, I have begun to feel your presence more and more authentically from within, despite the external Factors.
In 2019, my mantra was to “Move with Joy.” I gave up my apartment to be more nomadic so I could really make choices that were aligned with you both, Joy and Happiness, not from stress, money, or fear. When I intentionally aligned with you both, I began to feel how everything was infused with you. By the time 2020 came around, I felt a great sense of freedom and shifted my word to “Trust” to be grounded in knowing that you two were always present in the process of my life unfolding. When the threat of the lockdown was approaching, I was in Bali. Although I was somewhat lost and confused, like all of us were that March, I knew you would guide me to a safe place that would allow me the deepest experience of you both. And I was right. I arrived in West Virginia to be with my family, had the freedom to go inward, and build a stronger relationship with you both, which was such a gift. While the world was being tossed around in chaos, I watched in awe as a baby fox played in our yard. I danced in my room like I was young again, I wrote this book, I healed my mother wounds as I listened to stories about my gramma’s childhood and contemplated different realms of reality with my mom. I would check back in with the outer world and see that they were still in the sea of chaos, anxiety, anger, separation, isolation, confusion, and grief. I’d shake my head in disbelief that my human friends still don’t get you, Joy and Happiness.
So, I sit here now and wonder how we can let you both be seen, heard, and felt across our world and Universe to shift our consciousness. I know the three of us can’t do it alone. So, my dear friends, Joy and Happiness, how can we recruit more people? Maybe this story is one way to get them closer to you. Tell me, show me. I will continue to play, dance, and sing out of gratitude for you in hopes that others will hear and join in. I am doing my small part for all of us, and I am humbled you somehow chose me to be one of your ambassadors.
With light and love,
Phoebe
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Phoebe Leona is a dancer, speaker, author, yoga teacher, and transformational guide who helps us feel more embodied through somatic, movement, and expanded awareness practices to become more empowered in who we are, who we are becoming, and our having a greater sense of belonging.
Phoebe has been a teacher and guide for most of her life, but it was after a year of extreme loss in 2013 when she found herself in the vast open space in between her old life and a new life, that she dove deeply into her practices and began her company, nOMad to help others through their own transition and the spaces in between. Throughout that time, Phoebe also developed her movement/somatic practice, Mvt109™ for students to fully embrace the freedom of moving in their bodies, transforming old patterns and reclaiming the vibrations and stories they want to bring to life. Phoebe also finds joy in sharing her story to help others in their healing. She tells her story on her TEDx Talk, her podcast The Space in Between, and her multi-author international bestseller Caged No More. Her newest book, Dear Radiant One, partners with GracePoint Publishing. |
Phoebe Leona
Dancer, Speaker, Healer |
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