February 2018 Featured Interview |
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Interview with
Michelle P. Maidenberg, Ph.D.
Co-founder & Clinical Director of Thru My Eyes
About Michelle:
Michelle P. Maidenberg, Ph.D., MPH, LCSW-R, is president and clinical director of Westchester Group Works, a Center for Group Therapy in Harrison, NY. She is also co-founder and clinical director of “Thru My Eyes,” a nonprofit 501c3 organization that offers free, clinically-guided videotaping services to medically ill individuals who want to leave video legacies for their children and loved ones. Michelle is adjunct faculty at New York University's (NYU) graduate program in the Silver School of Social Work and also maintains a private practice.
Michelle has advanced training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Family Systems, and Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). She is a Certified Group Therapist through the American Group Psychotherapy Association. She created and coordinates the Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Program at Camp Shane, a health & weight management camp for children and teens in NY, AZ, GA, CA & TX, and Shane Diet and Fitness Resorts, a resort focusing on health & weight management for young adults and adults in NY & TX.
Michelle is a contributing editor of GROUP, the journal of the Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society. She is the author of Free Your Child From Overeating: 53 Mind-Body Strategies For Lifelong Health and is a Huffington Post blogger. She has been quoted in The New York Times, the Daily News, Fitness, Woman’s Day, Parents, and many other publications.
Michelle volunteers her time in many capacities. In addition to co-founding Thru My Eyes, she is on the Board of Directors at the Boys and Girls Club in Mount Vernon, NY. She volunteers as a Disaster Mental Health Practitioner with the American Red Cross and as a clinician with the Westchester County Trauma Recovery Network.
Thru My Eyes Mission Statement:
The mission of Thru My Eyes is to give individuals living with a life-threatening illness the ability, at no cost, to create a living legacy with the help of a trained mental health professional and in the privacy of their own home.
Michelle P. Maidenberg, Ph.D., MPH, LCSW-R, is president and clinical director of Westchester Group Works, a Center for Group Therapy in Harrison, NY. She is also co-founder and clinical director of “Thru My Eyes,” a nonprofit 501c3 organization that offers free, clinically-guided videotaping services to medically ill individuals who want to leave video legacies for their children and loved ones. Michelle is adjunct faculty at New York University's (NYU) graduate program in the Silver School of Social Work and also maintains a private practice.
Michelle has advanced training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Family Systems, and Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). She is a Certified Group Therapist through the American Group Psychotherapy Association. She created and coordinates the Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Program at Camp Shane, a health & weight management camp for children and teens in NY, AZ, GA, CA & TX, and Shane Diet and Fitness Resorts, a resort focusing on health & weight management for young adults and adults in NY & TX.
Michelle is a contributing editor of GROUP, the journal of the Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society. She is the author of Free Your Child From Overeating: 53 Mind-Body Strategies For Lifelong Health and is a Huffington Post blogger. She has been quoted in The New York Times, the Daily News, Fitness, Woman’s Day, Parents, and many other publications.
Michelle volunteers her time in many capacities. In addition to co-founding Thru My Eyes, she is on the Board of Directors at the Boys and Girls Club in Mount Vernon, NY. She volunteers as a Disaster Mental Health Practitioner with the American Red Cross and as a clinician with the Westchester County Trauma Recovery Network.
Thru My Eyes Mission Statement:
The mission of Thru My Eyes is to give individuals living with a life-threatening illness the ability, at no cost, to create a living legacy with the help of a trained mental health professional and in the privacy of their own home.
Myrna Beth Haskell, managing editor, spoke with Michelle about the inspiration behind Thru My Eyes, the challenges of running a nonprofit foundation, and how helping the terminally ill has given her an even better perspective as she works with her own patients.
I read about your friend Dede’s illness. As co-founder and clinical director of Thru My Eyes, could you tell me a bit about how your friend’s illness moved you to establish this foundation?
I read about your friend Dede’s illness. As co-founder and clinical director of Thru My Eyes, could you tell me a bit about how your friend’s illness moved you to establish this foundation?
I met Dede at the gym where we were both very active. One day, she shared with me that she had breast cancer several years before and was told that she probably couldn’t have children due to the extensive treatment she endured. She went into remission and wound up pregnant with her daughter, Nicole. Nicole was her miracle child. Unfortunately, the cancer returned. She was inspirational. Even while she was sick, she still came to the gym as long as she possibly could. She told me that she wanted to put together a video for her daughter, but she didn’t know exactly what to address. She knew I was a therapist, so she asked me about developmentally appropriate topics she could discuss. She wanted her daughter to learn from her throughout major milestones – graduation, marriage, etc.
When Dede got very ill, she wound up at Sloan Kettering, and they offered to take video, but you had to pay, and the video was taken right at the hospital. So, a few of her friends, including me, paid for someone to go to her home to create the video. |
Dede and her daughter, Nicole
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This got me thinking, ‘Wouldn’t it be great to provide a service where people could get this done for free and in the privacy of their own homes?’ To me, this experience was so empowering. The dignity and respect wasn’t there with the service Sloan Kettering offered. I decided that three things were needed: the service must be provided at no cost, privacy must be offered (at home or elsewhere), and a licensed professional must be there to help.
We do an in-take meeting to find out what each person is interested in and the message he or she wants to convey. We go over 200 questions with them. This entails all kinds of topics – history, education, religious beliefs, etc. This way, they get to peruse the questions ahead of time, and they don’t miss out on talking about something they want to include. It’s completely custom. Some people don’t want to talk about their illness at all…others do. We had someone who didn’t want to be seen, so we used photos of her with gentle music in the background instead. We always ask if they want to say something personal to each family member at the end.
Then, we go through an editing process. It’s very personal and customized.
We do an in-take meeting to find out what each person is interested in and the message he or she wants to convey. We go over 200 questions with them. This entails all kinds of topics – history, education, religious beliefs, etc. This way, they get to peruse the questions ahead of time, and they don’t miss out on talking about something they want to include. It’s completely custom. Some people don’t want to talk about their illness at all…others do. We had someone who didn’t want to be seen, so we used photos of her with gentle music in the background instead. We always ask if they want to say something personal to each family member at the end.
Then, we go through an editing process. It’s very personal and customized.
As co-director of Thru My Eyes, what are some of your responsibilities? How does your work as president and clinical director of Westchester Group Works tie in to your volunteer work with the foundation?
I manage and supervise. I created the 200 questions as a starting point for clients to decide what’s best for their family. I also screen the mental health professionals and make sure that all volunteers are trained.
In both cases, whether it’s work with the foundation or with my regular patients, you are improving someone’s quality of life. You are empowering them to be their best selves.
Videos can be made in-person or via Skype. Is the foundation able to provide the same kinds of support for those who are recorded remotely?
It’s incredible, but with the technology today, it doesn’t feel too much different. It’s necessary to create some of the videos remotely due to the locations of many of the people we help.*
We were filming someone once, and her toddler took first steps right while we were videotaping. This gave us the idea of giving clients a flip camera (portable video camera) so they could use it at home to video everyday interaction with their families. These special moments are edited into the final video.
*Although located in New York, Thru My Eyes is a nationwide organization which services clients throughout the U.S. and in Canada.
I noticed that first responders can receive services even if they don’t have children aged 21 or younger, a criteria to receive the foundation’s services. Is this a way of giving back to those who put their lives at risk for others on a daily basis?
Yes. That’s exactly it. We wanted to give back in some way.
Note: Criteria for receiving service includes:
1. You must have a potentially life-threatening illness.
2. You must be the parent of a child 21 years or younger, or you are the primary caregiver of that child.
3. First responders only need to have a life-threatening illness to qualify for our free service.
The following statement appears on the Thru My Eyes website in regards to services for first responders: We know that you put your life at risk every day for community and country—and this is our way of saying, thank you!
I manage and supervise. I created the 200 questions as a starting point for clients to decide what’s best for their family. I also screen the mental health professionals and make sure that all volunteers are trained.
In both cases, whether it’s work with the foundation or with my regular patients, you are improving someone’s quality of life. You are empowering them to be their best selves.
Videos can be made in-person or via Skype. Is the foundation able to provide the same kinds of support for those who are recorded remotely?
It’s incredible, but with the technology today, it doesn’t feel too much different. It’s necessary to create some of the videos remotely due to the locations of many of the people we help.*
We were filming someone once, and her toddler took first steps right while we were videotaping. This gave us the idea of giving clients a flip camera (portable video camera) so they could use it at home to video everyday interaction with their families. These special moments are edited into the final video.
*Although located in New York, Thru My Eyes is a nationwide organization which services clients throughout the U.S. and in Canada.
I noticed that first responders can receive services even if they don’t have children aged 21 or younger, a criteria to receive the foundation’s services. Is this a way of giving back to those who put their lives at risk for others on a daily basis?
Yes. That’s exactly it. We wanted to give back in some way.
Note: Criteria for receiving service includes:
1. You must have a potentially life-threatening illness.
2. You must be the parent of a child 21 years or younger, or you are the primary caregiver of that child.
3. First responders only need to have a life-threatening illness to qualify for our free service.
The following statement appears on the Thru My Eyes website in regards to services for first responders: We know that you put your life at risk every day for community and country—and this is our way of saying, thank you!
I watched the video of Barbara sharing her experience of how leaving a living legacy for her kids gave her enormous comfort. Do you find that most people who have used Thru My Eyes services feel this same way?
We get feedback all the time. In general, most are a bit reluctant or scared at first, but it’s gratifying to see that they are so glad they did it afterward. Do you work with hospitals, cancer centers and other medical organizations at all, either to find people in need of this service or to garner volunteers who can help the foundation? I have a huge network of volunteers from around my area because I’m involved with a lot of organizations, and I’m on the board of some as well. I have great access to professionals who are potential volunteers. We also do a lot of in-service at a wide variety of locations. This helps to market what we do so that people know we are here to help. |
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Any future plans for the foundation?
We just want to provide this service to as many people as possible. We don’t want to turn people away. Since we offer the service at no cost, there is always the immense challenge of doing enough fundraising.
Has your work with Thru My Eyes made you a better therapist?
I think so. I’m a hands-on, attuned therapist. You have to be SO ON for this process to work. You have to be sure you convey the right attitude – there’s a nurturing aspect to this that’s imperative.
We are encouraging our readers to use #WheresYourSanctuary to share their thoughts and inspiration with our community on social media. Where do you find your joy, peace, strength and fulfillment? In a place, a person, a hobby, a quiet moment alone? What feeds your soul and fuels your fire?
I start off my day in solace. I drop my 9-year-old daughter at the bus stop and get a loving glance goodbye from her, quietly meditate in my car, and exercise. This daily morning routine guides my presence, mood, and practice all throughout my day into seeing patients. I additionally get fueled when I have an engaged, connected interaction with a patient. It reminds me of my purpose, what’s meaningful to me, and who I am and strive to be. I end off my day with moments with my husband, three boys, daughter, and my two dogs. Although chaotic at times, I celebrate the humanness of it all and appreciate the family my husband and I cultivated.
We just want to provide this service to as many people as possible. We don’t want to turn people away. Since we offer the service at no cost, there is always the immense challenge of doing enough fundraising.
Has your work with Thru My Eyes made you a better therapist?
I think so. I’m a hands-on, attuned therapist. You have to be SO ON for this process to work. You have to be sure you convey the right attitude – there’s a nurturing aspect to this that’s imperative.
We are encouraging our readers to use #WheresYourSanctuary to share their thoughts and inspiration with our community on social media. Where do you find your joy, peace, strength and fulfillment? In a place, a person, a hobby, a quiet moment alone? What feeds your soul and fuels your fire?
I start off my day in solace. I drop my 9-year-old daughter at the bus stop and get a loving glance goodbye from her, quietly meditate in my car, and exercise. This daily morning routine guides my presence, mood, and practice all throughout my day into seeing patients. I additionally get fueled when I have an engaged, connected interaction with a patient. It reminds me of my purpose, what’s meaningful to me, and who I am and strive to be. I end off my day with moments with my husband, three boys, daughter, and my two dogs. Although chaotic at times, I celebrate the humanness of it all and appreciate the family my husband and I cultivated.