SANCTUARY
  • Open Book
    • Featured Interviews >
      • Archives: 2021
      • Archives: 2020
      • Archives: 2019
      • ARCHIVES: 2018
      • ARCHIVES: 2017
      • ARCHIVES: 2016
    • More Interviews >
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2019
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2018
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2017
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2016
    • Autism Awareness 2022 >
      • Autism Awareness 2021
      • Autism Awareness 2020
      • Autism Awareness 2019
      • Autism Awareness 2018
  • Blank Canvas
    • Featured Artists >
      • 2022 Featured Artist Updates
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2021
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2020
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2019
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2018
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2017
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2016
    • Selected Works
    • Culture Crawl >
      • Archives: Culture Crawl
    • 2022 Focus on Youth >
      • 2021 Focus on Youth
      • 2020 Focus on Youth
      • 2019 Focus on Youth
      • 2018 Focus on Youth
      • 2017 Focus on Youth
      • 2016 Focus on Youth
    • 2022 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives >
      • 2021 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2020 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2019 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2018 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2017 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
  • Body & Spirit
    • Healthy Body >
      • Archives: Healthy Body
    • Healthy Mind >
      • Archives: Healthy Mind
    • Nutrition and Exercise >
      • Laura's Corner Table
      • Archives: Nutrition & Exercise
    • Personal Safety >
      • Archives: Personal Safety
    • Alternative Therapy >
      • Archives: Alternative Therapy
    • Navigating Relationships >
      • Archives: Navigating Relationships
  • INSPIRED LIFE
    • TRAVEL JOURNAL >
      • Travel Journal Archives
    • YOUR MONEY & BUSINESS >
      • MONEY & BUSINESS ARCHIVES
    • CAREER JOURNEY >
      • CAREER JOURNEY ARCHIVES
    • Smart Steps >
      • ARCHIVES: Smart Steps
  • GUEST ROOM
    • Ask an Expert >
      • ARCHIVES: ASK AN EXPERT
    • Kindness & Karma >
      • Archives: Kindness & Karma
    • We Hear You >
      • Celebrated Readers
      • TALKBACK
    • Submit Your Work
    • Book Giveaway 2022 >
      • Book Giveaway 2022 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2021 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2020 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2019 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2018 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2017 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2016 Winners' Circle
    • Surveys
  • Events
    • Events-Services-Specials
    • Sanctuary Events
    • Coffee & Conversation
  • Advertise
    • Media Kit
    • Sponsor Ad Packages
    • Meet Our Sponsors
  • About
    • Myrna's Musings
    • Our Team
    • Support Us
    • CONTACT US
Ask an Expert
FEBRUARY TOPIC: A Mom's Relationship with her Grown Son
Picture
Carole Lieberman, M.D., M.P.H.
​Psychiatrist, Speaker & Award-Winning Author
Dr. Carole's Website
OUR EXPERT:

Carole Lieberman, M.D., M.P.H. is a board-certified Beverly Hills psychiatrist and an award-winning and bestselling author. She was trained at NYU-Bellevue and at Anna Freud’s London Clinic. She has served on the Clinical Faculty of UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Institute for years.

When Carole isn’t seeing patients or testifying at trials as a forensic psychiatrist/expert witness, she’s working as a three-time, Emmy-honored TV personality who has appeared on Oprah, the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox News, HLN, ET, ABC, CBS, NBC and many more. 

Additionally, Carole hosts two radio shows/podcasts and travels the world speaking about her books, especially her latest book for children (and their parents and teachers), Lions and Tigers and Terrorists, Oh My! How to Protect Your Child in a Time of Terror (Troika Publishing). 

When Carole isn’t working, she’s training on her horse to compete in horse shows, doing jumping and dressage. 
March Topic
Archives

"I don’t care for my son’s live-in girlfriend. He’s always mentioning that she’s out with friends while he sits at home, but he doesn’t go into detail. Lately, he seems distracted and not his usual outgoing and happy self. I want to discuss this with him, but I’m afraid he’ll think I’m biased because I never really warmed up to her. Any suggestions?" ~ Robin (NC)

Dear Robin, 
 
A mom’s intuition is rarely wrong. If his girlfriend is out with friends all the time, he’s probably lonely and unhappy with their relationship, but doesn’t want to admit that you were right in having second thoughts about her. He’s probably wondering what she’s doing and whether she’s flirting with other guys or worse. In any case, he’s wondering why she doesn’t want to spend more time with him.
 
Perhaps she’s already dumped him, and he doesn’t want to say, “Mom, you were right.”
 
You certainly can bring it up, but in a way that doesn’t focus on his girlfriend. For example, you can say, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been your usual happy self, and I’m concerned about you. Is there anything I can do to help? You know I’m always here as a sounding board. What can I do to help you feel better?"

"My twenty-six-year-old son still lives with us. My husband wants him out of the house, but I don’t want him to feel like we’re kicking him out. He’s employed, but he hasn’t saved a lot of money. I feel torn between my son and my husband." ~ Casey (CA)

Dear Casey, 
 
These days, many millennials have come back home to roost.
 
This doesn’t make it desirable, however. Every situation is different. It all depends upon what your son’s future plans are. For example, if he wants to continue his education to get a better job, it would be reasonable for you to help him by letting him stay with you. It would also be reasonable for him to stay if he’s applying to get a better-paying job and needs a little time to get one. However, if he’s sitting in your basement playing video games, or wasting the money he makes on foolish things, then it’s time to make a 'get-out-of-home’ plan. 
 
Start by insisting that:
  1. He pay 10%-30% of his income on ‘rent.’
  2. He makes a written plan for his future - including how he intends to better himself.
  3. He spends at least 1 hour per day on household chores. This should get him thinking about creating a more independent life for himself.. 
 
I want to know that my son is in a healthy relationship, but he never brings up dating. He doesn’t really talk with me about social topics at all….he talks about everything else and in-between. Is this typical? ~ Anonymous (NJ)
 
Dear Anonymous, 

Although some sons are embarrassed to tell their moms about personal or social subjects, or are afraid of their mom’s meddling, it does seem a bit extreme for your son to never bring up dating - unless he’s not dating.
 
Have you ever asked him if he was dating? I think what you’re really concerned about is that he’s not in a ‘healthy’ relationship. Would it upset you if you found out he was gay? If he knows this, it could be why he’s not telling you about who he’s dating. Or, if he’s dating a girl, there may be something about her that he knows you wouldn’t approve of, and he doesn’t want you to tell him to stop seeing her.
 
The easiest way to solve this is to simply ask him about it. For example, “Son, I love how you share so much about your life with me - your studies, your goals for the future, and so on, but I have noticed that you never talk about your social life, and I’m wondering why that is. Are you afraid that I’ll disapprove of something? Or that I’ll meddle? I promise to always be upfront with you, but I won’t be judgmental. I love you."

Dr. Carole Lieberman
The Terrorist Therapist
Forensic Psychiatrist/Expert Witness

​NEWS...

January Themes:
Hope, Reinvention,
No More Winter Blues


Next newsletter goes out:
February 3rd
​
Next Coffee & Conversation:

February 15, 2023
How Attachment Styles Affect Relationships
​
Next Team Talk:
TBA
Picture
SEND YOUR SUGGESTIONS:
Let us know what you would like
to see and read about in SANCTUARY.
seniorstaff@sanctuary-magazine.com
Free Newsletter
Support Us
Please LIKE us and FOLLOW us!
USE:
#WheresYourSanctuary
SEND US A GOOGLE REVIEW!

© 2022 Sanctuary Online, LLC
All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
​Opinions expressed by contributors are not necessarily the opinion of this publication.
  • Open Book
    • Featured Interviews >
      • Archives: 2021
      • Archives: 2020
      • Archives: 2019
      • ARCHIVES: 2018
      • ARCHIVES: 2017
      • ARCHIVES: 2016
    • More Interviews >
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2019
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2018
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2017
      • ARCHIVES: Interviews 2016
    • Autism Awareness 2022 >
      • Autism Awareness 2021
      • Autism Awareness 2020
      • Autism Awareness 2019
      • Autism Awareness 2018
  • Blank Canvas
    • Featured Artists >
      • 2022 Featured Artist Updates
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2021
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2020
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2019
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2018
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2017
      • Featured Artist Archives: 2016
    • Selected Works
    • Culture Crawl >
      • Archives: Culture Crawl
    • 2022 Focus on Youth >
      • 2021 Focus on Youth
      • 2020 Focus on Youth
      • 2019 Focus on Youth
      • 2018 Focus on Youth
      • 2017 Focus on Youth
      • 2016 Focus on Youth
    • 2022 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives >
      • 2021 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2020 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2019 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2018 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
      • 2017 Celebrating the Men in Our Lives
  • Body & Spirit
    • Healthy Body >
      • Archives: Healthy Body
    • Healthy Mind >
      • Archives: Healthy Mind
    • Nutrition and Exercise >
      • Laura's Corner Table
      • Archives: Nutrition & Exercise
    • Personal Safety >
      • Archives: Personal Safety
    • Alternative Therapy >
      • Archives: Alternative Therapy
    • Navigating Relationships >
      • Archives: Navigating Relationships
  • INSPIRED LIFE
    • TRAVEL JOURNAL >
      • Travel Journal Archives
    • YOUR MONEY & BUSINESS >
      • MONEY & BUSINESS ARCHIVES
    • CAREER JOURNEY >
      • CAREER JOURNEY ARCHIVES
    • Smart Steps >
      • ARCHIVES: Smart Steps
  • GUEST ROOM
    • Ask an Expert >
      • ARCHIVES: ASK AN EXPERT
    • Kindness & Karma >
      • Archives: Kindness & Karma
    • We Hear You >
      • Celebrated Readers
      • TALKBACK
    • Submit Your Work
    • Book Giveaway 2022 >
      • Book Giveaway 2022 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2021 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2020 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2019 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2018 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2017 Winners' Circle
      • Book Giveaway 2016 Winners' Circle
    • Surveys
  • Events
    • Events-Services-Specials
    • Sanctuary Events
    • Coffee & Conversation
  • Advertise
    • Media Kit
    • Sponsor Ad Packages
    • Meet Our Sponsors
  • About
    • Myrna's Musings
    • Our Team
    • Support Us
    • CONTACT US