College Tips for Young Women on the Spectrum
Interview with
Amy Gravino
Essayist, Author & Certified Autism Specialist
Amy Gravino
Essayist, Author & Certified Autism Specialist
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Amy Gravino, M.A., is a Certified Autism Specialist and international speaker. As the founder and President of A.S.C.O.T Consulting, Amy offers autism consulting and college coaching services for individuals on the autism spectrum, mentoring services for young adults with autism, and professional presentations for conferences, autism events, schools and professional development workshops.
Amy has given two TED Talks, spoken twice at the United Nations for World Autism Awareness Day (2011 and 2018), and presented to numerous audiences on a variety of topics, including autism and sexuality issues faced by girls with ASD, growing up on the spectrum, bullying and bullying prevention, and transitioning individuals on the spectrum to higher education. Amy obtained her master’s degree in applied behavior analysis (ABA) from Caldwell University in 2010. She currently serves on the Board of Directors of Specialisterne USA, Yes She Can, Inc., and the Golden Door International Film Festival of Jersey City. Amy is co-facilitator of the Morris County support group chapter of ASPEN-NJ and is now authoring The Naughty Autie, a memoir of her experiences with dating, relationships, and sexuality from the firsthand perspective of a woman on the autism spectrum. |
Myrna Beth Haskell, managing editor, asked Amy to provide tips for young women on the spectrum who are planning to attend college.
Amy's Tips:
DO Be True To Yourself
College is a great time to meet new people and have new experiences. You'll be learning more about who you are, and what you like and don't like it. But changing yourself to fit what you think someone else wants is exhausting, and it is unfair to you. Many autistic women feel the need to "mask" their real selves, but when someone is a true friend and cares about you as a person, he/she will accept you exactly the way you are.
DON'T Do Anything You Don't Feel Comfortable Doing
Everyone else wants to go to a frat party, but you're not interested? Don't go! This doesn't mean never stepping outside of your comfort zone or refraining from trying new things; instead, it’s making a distinction between what is worth your time and what isn't. In college, there are many opportunities to find the things that you like to do, and you'll be sure to meet people along the way who share your interests.
DO Realize That You Don't Have to Have Everything Figured Out
Sometimes it may seem like your classmates have it all figured out and know exactly what they're going to do after graduation, but it's okay not to know! Everyone goes at their own pace, and college is just one step on a very long journey. If you have to take some time off for a semester or take longer than others to complete your degree, this is okay, too. Taking a different path than your fellow classmates does not mean you are failure; it means you are doing what is right for you.
DON'T Be Afraid to Ask For Help
You're going to college. You've worked super hard and have done so much to get here, and suddenly you're having a hard time. It may feel uncomfortable or even upsetting to ask for help, but you absolutely should! Whether the challenge is academic or social, there are people and resources out there that can help. And despite how it might seem, needing or asking for help does not make you weak. Asking for help is a sign of strength, because it shows that you know something is wrong and want to make it better. So don't be afraid to ask!
Amy's Tips:
DO Be True To Yourself
College is a great time to meet new people and have new experiences. You'll be learning more about who you are, and what you like and don't like it. But changing yourself to fit what you think someone else wants is exhausting, and it is unfair to you. Many autistic women feel the need to "mask" their real selves, but when someone is a true friend and cares about you as a person, he/she will accept you exactly the way you are.
DON'T Do Anything You Don't Feel Comfortable Doing
Everyone else wants to go to a frat party, but you're not interested? Don't go! This doesn't mean never stepping outside of your comfort zone or refraining from trying new things; instead, it’s making a distinction between what is worth your time and what isn't. In college, there are many opportunities to find the things that you like to do, and you'll be sure to meet people along the way who share your interests.
DO Realize That You Don't Have to Have Everything Figured Out
Sometimes it may seem like your classmates have it all figured out and know exactly what they're going to do after graduation, but it's okay not to know! Everyone goes at their own pace, and college is just one step on a very long journey. If you have to take some time off for a semester or take longer than others to complete your degree, this is okay, too. Taking a different path than your fellow classmates does not mean you are failure; it means you are doing what is right for you.
DON'T Be Afraid to Ask For Help
You're going to college. You've worked super hard and have done so much to get here, and suddenly you're having a hard time. It may feel uncomfortable or even upsetting to ask for help, but you absolutely should! Whether the challenge is academic or social, there are people and resources out there that can help. And despite how it might seem, needing or asking for help does not make you weak. Asking for help is a sign of strength, because it shows that you know something is wrong and want to make it better. So don't be afraid to ask!
Find Amy's Essays:
