Beverly J. Armento Discusses Childhood Abuse
and the Teachers who Helped her Thrive Despite her Anguish
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As the “Seeing Eye Girl” for her blind, artistic, and mentally ill mother, Beverly was intimately connected with and responsible for her, even though her mother physically and emotionally abused her. In this emotional memoir, Beverly shares the coping strategies she invented to get herself through the trials of her young life, and the ways in which school and church served as refuges over the course of her journey. Find an exclusive excerpt in Sanctuary. "School was my sanctuary and a nurturing place where I was not afraid to try out new ideas, where I knew no one would harm me, where I felt cared for and loved." ~ Beverly J. Armento |
Click book cover for excerpt.
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Beverly discusses how she managed to overcome childhood abuse, eventually becoming a teacher others could count on for support.
Some never recover from childhood abuse. What was the most pivotal moment in your young life that urged you to survive?
In Chapter 29, I describe the moment I decided I would survive. Momma had beaten me viciously most of the long evening, making my decision to commit suicide even more vivid in my mind. I felt that I had no way out of the misery of my life, that I would not survive another year if I remained at the home, supporting the family, and submitting to my mother’s rage. I fully believed I was responsible for taking care of Momma and my siblings. However, I had another life, my life at school, where I was Strong Beverly. Actually, I was in my first year of teaching at this time, and I loved my students and everything about being a teacher. I wanted to live in order to teach another year. It was during that long night that I continued to hear the voices of so many of my own teachers, who had encouraged me, who had urged me to “be fearless,” and “to never give up.” Finally, as I continued to internally argue with myself and God over my choices, I had a moment of clarity and peace. I had to teach again the following year, and the next after that. I had to survive. I had a purpose. I had hope. I was needed somewhere else – in classrooms with children.
However, making a decision to survive is not the same as recovering from the childhood abuse. You can “run-away” but the trauma is still an integral part of your body, your mind, your soul. The work toward recovery is long and difficult, and it took me many years and a considerable amount of professional help before I was able to “put the trauma in its place” and become mentally and physically healthy. I had to forgive my mother and myself, and learn to incorporate “weak Beverly” into the new stronger me.
Some never recover from childhood abuse. What was the most pivotal moment in your young life that urged you to survive?
In Chapter 29, I describe the moment I decided I would survive. Momma had beaten me viciously most of the long evening, making my decision to commit suicide even more vivid in my mind. I felt that I had no way out of the misery of my life, that I would not survive another year if I remained at the home, supporting the family, and submitting to my mother’s rage. I fully believed I was responsible for taking care of Momma and my siblings. However, I had another life, my life at school, where I was Strong Beverly. Actually, I was in my first year of teaching at this time, and I loved my students and everything about being a teacher. I wanted to live in order to teach another year. It was during that long night that I continued to hear the voices of so many of my own teachers, who had encouraged me, who had urged me to “be fearless,” and “to never give up.” Finally, as I continued to internally argue with myself and God over my choices, I had a moment of clarity and peace. I had to teach again the following year, and the next after that. I had to survive. I had a purpose. I had hope. I was needed somewhere else – in classrooms with children.
However, making a decision to survive is not the same as recovering from the childhood abuse. You can “run-away” but the trauma is still an integral part of your body, your mind, your soul. The work toward recovery is long and difficult, and it took me many years and a considerable amount of professional help before I was able to “put the trauma in its place” and become mentally and physically healthy. I had to forgive my mother and myself, and learn to incorporate “weak Beverly” into the new stronger me.
September is our Arts in Education issue. How important were the teachers who guided you? Did you consider any of them a parental figure? In your book you write, “For many kids like me, the teacher is the surrogate parent, the social support system, the one who says, “Yes, you can do this. Let me show you how.”
Strong Beverly lived at school. Church, school, and my “angel teachers” provided a safe haven for me, a place where I could thrive, be myself, explore my sense of humor, develop my personality, be a leader, make mistakes, and flourish. School was my sanctuary and a nurturing place where I was not afraid to try out new ideas, where I knew no one would harm me, where I felt cared for and loved. Teachers looked past my often-dirty clothes and challenged my thinking, expected me to accomplish anything I put my mind to – and I did! I believed them, and they believed in me.
Strong Beverly lived at school. Church, school, and my “angel teachers” provided a safe haven for me, a place where I could thrive, be myself, explore my sense of humor, develop my personality, be a leader, make mistakes, and flourish. School was my sanctuary and a nurturing place where I was not afraid to try out new ideas, where I knew no one would harm me, where I felt cared for and loved. Teachers looked past my often-dirty clothes and challenged my thinking, expected me to accomplish anything I put my mind to – and I did! I believed them, and they believed in me.
Kids like me, children who live with Adverse Childhood Experiences (e.g., physical, emotional, sexual abuse, addiction in the household, incarceration of a person in the household, and in today’s world, fear of being bullied, shot, and harmed at school or in the community, and the negative effects from the pandemic) especially need the calm, caring and accepting person called the “teacher.” This person is critical, especially to vulnerable children who do not have nurturing adults at home. Educators, whether they think of themselves as mentors or not, actually serve as role models to children, and their words and actions can make the difference in a child’s life. Through our sins of omission and commission, we can provide a balm to a child or we can harm them. Teaching is an ethical enterprise, and as such, educators have an obligation and the power to “raise others up.” It’s so easy to do. Kindness is the starting place. Expecting that every child is a genius and treating every child like they are your own – are the next steps.
What should educators look for in order to protect young people from an abusive home life? As you’ve noted, many children are really good at masking their pain.
First, it should be noted that educators, counselors, principals, and others are ethically and legally required to report known or suspected instances of child abuse and neglect as mandated by Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) and stipulated in state and often local guidelines and procedures. Each educator should be familiar with their state and local guidelines and should participate in special training on how to identify abuse and neglect and to whom they should report suspected problems to.
It is true that children often hide the evidence of child abuse and are good at masking their pain. It is not easy to be certain that a child is experiencing adverse events, but knowing your students and their healthy behavior will better enable you to know when there are changes in a child’s behavior or attitude. Such signs may include: sudden loss of interest in school activities, indifference, lack of participation, anger, sadness, sleepiness, depression, loss of weight, changes in personal hygiene, bruising, homelessness, anxiety, fearfulness, aggression, hostility, or lack of self-confidence. Of course, any of these behaviors may, in and of themselves, not be reflective of abuse or neglect. The better you, as the educator, know your students, the better you are to observe a child over time to discern real from imagined issues. Talking with the [the appropriate school personnel] as well as talking with the child and the family members will better enable you to be certain of your observations.
Remember, the goal is to ensure that each child lives in environments that are free from abuse and neglect, that each child is safe and well cared for.
Each teacher has the ultimate responsibility for ensuring that the classroom itself is a supportive, safe, and uplifting environment for each child. This starts with the teacher as s/he sets a tone for mutual respect among the children, and where children learn to treat one another with kindness and caring. The teacher is the ultimate model of such desired behavior. Treat each child as though s/he is your own, and let each child know they can do anything they put their mind to.
Encourage each one to be strong, to be fearless!
What should educators look for in order to protect young people from an abusive home life? As you’ve noted, many children are really good at masking their pain.
First, it should be noted that educators, counselors, principals, and others are ethically and legally required to report known or suspected instances of child abuse and neglect as mandated by Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) and stipulated in state and often local guidelines and procedures. Each educator should be familiar with their state and local guidelines and should participate in special training on how to identify abuse and neglect and to whom they should report suspected problems to.
It is true that children often hide the evidence of child abuse and are good at masking their pain. It is not easy to be certain that a child is experiencing adverse events, but knowing your students and their healthy behavior will better enable you to know when there are changes in a child’s behavior or attitude. Such signs may include: sudden loss of interest in school activities, indifference, lack of participation, anger, sadness, sleepiness, depression, loss of weight, changes in personal hygiene, bruising, homelessness, anxiety, fearfulness, aggression, hostility, or lack of self-confidence. Of course, any of these behaviors may, in and of themselves, not be reflective of abuse or neglect. The better you, as the educator, know your students, the better you are to observe a child over time to discern real from imagined issues. Talking with the [the appropriate school personnel] as well as talking with the child and the family members will better enable you to be certain of your observations.
Remember, the goal is to ensure that each child lives in environments that are free from abuse and neglect, that each child is safe and well cared for.
Each teacher has the ultimate responsibility for ensuring that the classroom itself is a supportive, safe, and uplifting environment for each child. This starts with the teacher as s/he sets a tone for mutual respect among the children, and where children learn to treat one another with kindness and caring. The teacher is the ultimate model of such desired behavior. Treat each child as though s/he is your own, and let each child know they can do anything they put their mind to.
Encourage each one to be strong, to be fearless!
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Beverly J. Armento was inspired by the many teachers who mentored her and became an educator who enjoyed a fifty-year career, working with middle school children as well as prospective teachers.
Now retired, she is professor emerita at Georgia State University and holds degrees from The William Paterson University, Purdue University and Indiana University. She currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia. Her memoir, Seeing Eye Girl, was awarded a bronze medal from the IPPY awards. |
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UPCOMING EVENTS/SIGNINGS:
September 18, 2022 Gallery 992 4:30-6:30 p.m. 992 Ralph Abernathy Blvd. Atlanta, GA Reverend Merchuria Chase Williams, Ph.D., in conversation with Dr. Beverly J. Armento October 15 and 16, 2022 Arts on the Creek Book Fest Johns Creek, Georgia Arts Festival Book Sales and Signing 1930 Bobby Jones Drive Johns Creek, GA Saturday, October 15: Beverly J. Armento will be signing Seeing Eye Girl from 1-2 and 4-5 p.m. Sunday, October 15: Beverly J. Armento will be signing Seeing Eye Girl from 12-1 and 3-4 p.m. |
