July 2023 Featured Artist
Singer-Songwriter Learns to Embrace All the Colors of Life -
Heartbreak and Joy, Fear and Courage
An Interview with
Cassie Fireman
Promotional Image from "Feel Like Gold" Video
Photo Courtesy: Cassie Fireman |
Cassie Fireman’s musical journey is a serendipitous adventure of discovery, empowerment, joy and fear. Growing up constantly on the move, she found stability through exploring her own creativity, immersing herself in writing and the performing arts.
Cassie played with an all-female, New York City rock band called The Panty Droppers. She defines this experience as “a short-lived total blast” that enabled her to develop her skills and prepare her for the lead singer role in her next band, Dirty Mae, co-founded with her husband, Ben Curtis. Dirty Mae performed throughout New York City, touring 12 states, playing over 90 shows and winning the Battle of the Bands at Grassroots 30th Annual Festival, which led to playing live onstage with “Donna and The Buffalo” at Shakori Hills, as well as being hand-picked as a performer for the Counting Crows’ Adam Duritz's Underground Sunshine Fest. When the pandemic hit in 2020, the tour came to a halt in Portland, Maine where Cassie stayed with her bandmates for a period of time. She attributes the dark basement at her trombone player’s house as the place where the meat of her solo album was born. Cassie’s debut solo album Feel Like Gold was just released, highlighting her soulful, sultry and raw pop style. “Each song is a little piece of my heart finding its way home,” she shares. For ten years, Cassie has led an annual music, surfing, and songwriting retreat in Costa Rica, titled Balanced Guitar, where she raises awareness through music. As a human rights activist, she founded The Big Red Fest to benefit survivors of domestic violence. |
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Music Video for Title Track, "Feel Like Gold"
Myrna Beth Haskell, executive editor, met Cassie in Rhinebeck, New York, to discuss her unique journey in the music industry, how music has helped her navigate challenging and heartbreaking circumstances, and her debut solo album.
You began your musical journey in your thirties. It wasn’t a straight path for you, though.
I worked for a large advertising company right out of college and was miserable. I wound up quitting and going to acting school. I had auditioned for this school run by Mike Nichols, who was a director/producer of many Broadway shows and iconic films [On Broadway: An Evening With Mike Nichols and Elaine May, the revival of Death of a Salesman, etc. In film: numerous notables, including The Graduate]. He would come in person every Wednesday and direct our scenes. After acting school, I produced a couple of plays.
And this work in theater probably helped you with stage presence and confidence.
Oh yes! Definitely.
Women, in particular, tend to express themselves as a tapestry. There are all these beautiful things about who we are. I didn’t have a linear journey. The way I landed into music was very organic.
Way before acting school, I always loved to write. Storytelling had always helped me through challenging times while growing up. It became a space to escape and get control of my narrative. Poetry and journaling were organic medicine for me. Some of my poetry became songs.
Literally, singing saved my life. We hold anxiety and fear in our bodies, and this leads to imbalance. Singing for me is a release of all that. I started studying more about this – I read The Healing Power of Sound and learned more about the ancient healing practice of sound therapy.
Creating music and using sound therapy to heal are not the only ways Cassie helps herself and others release anxiety, fear and pain. She practices Thai massage therapy and leads sessions at wellness retreats in Costa Rica.
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What inspired you to pursue a solo career after performing with the band Dirty Mae for several years?
I’m still performing with Dirty Mae. My band was on tour, and then our shows got cancelled when the world shut down due to COVID. I started questioning everything in my life at that time. When I slowed down, it was like a volcanic eruption – the things I had been dealing with were just pouring out of me. I had time to reflect and get a new perspective. I was allowing myself to just feel it. I would go to our trombone player’s house and work on material. I love the work I do with the band. I get to be a character, and I really get into it. With my solo work, my heart is on my sleeve. I’m out there. My solo songs are like my babies. Is your songwriting process structured or more “go with the flow?” |
Photo Credit: Nir Livni
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Definitely things will hit me at three in the morning, and I’ll put it on my phone or voice memo, and then go back to sleep. When I walk, I get a lot of melodies. I think this is to fit the rhythm of my feet. Before I learned to play guitar, I relied on internal rhythm. We speak in melody, and we have all these rhythms inside of us.
Besides singing and songwriting, you also play the guitar.
I’ve only been playing guitar for a few years. Our dear friends who are world-renowned jazz musicians, Freddie Bryant and Richard Miller, teach lessons at our retreats called Balanced Guitar. It’s about how to find our balance, how to find the flow.
Please share a little more about your wellness retreats.
We’ve been leading these for ten years in Nosara, Costa Rica. We bring 10 to 20 people, and we all stay together in a big house. We do yoga, tai chi, body work, surfing, and we play guitar for two hours every day. We learn samba and jazz music.
Any plans to expand, so the locals can get more involved?
I speak Spanish. I have plans to build a mini music school for children. I feel like I can give back in that way. I’ve met a lot of locals there, and I want to give this to them.
Besides singing and songwriting, you also play the guitar.
I’ve only been playing guitar for a few years. Our dear friends who are world-renowned jazz musicians, Freddie Bryant and Richard Miller, teach lessons at our retreats called Balanced Guitar. It’s about how to find our balance, how to find the flow.
Please share a little more about your wellness retreats.
We’ve been leading these for ten years in Nosara, Costa Rica. We bring 10 to 20 people, and we all stay together in a big house. We do yoga, tai chi, body work, surfing, and we play guitar for two hours every day. We learn samba and jazz music.
Any plans to expand, so the locals can get more involved?
I speak Spanish. I have plans to build a mini music school for children. I feel like I can give back in that way. I’ve met a lot of locals there, and I want to give this to them.
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Let’s talk about some of the songs on your debut solo album, Feel Like Gold. What was the inspiration behind “Thin Air?”
This is the first song on the album that I wrote on Father’s Day. My father died when I was 17. He was an artist (a sculptor who did large installation work) and an addict. His art is insanely good. I never knew him, and this first song was about finding peace with this. How do we get to know someone we never knew? How do we say goodbye before say hello? I found out that I looked the most like him, and I also feel this strong connection with him through art, when I’m working on music. When I’m walking in nature, I feel close to him, too. I’m getting to know him in this super vulnerable and intimate way. |
The song “Time to Go” also has a very personal meaning for you.
My husband, Ben [Curtis], sings and plays banjo, harmonica and guitar. We really connected through music. I shared my very first songs with him.
After our last music retreat, we were so happy and were in such an amazing place, so I thought for the first time that I wanted to get pregnant. I was pregnant when we filmed the music video for ‘Time to Go,’ but I didn’t know it at the time. After the filming, I got really sick – I was deathly ill. I knew something wasn’t right. I wound up losing my child at about two and a half months.
Cassie explained that, as she reflects on the song, it was like her subconscious speaking – the words and experience have become a connection she will always have with the child she lost.
The message in this song is that every cycle of life is beautiful and should be honored, even the ones that don’t turn out as we expect.
My husband, Ben [Curtis], sings and plays banjo, harmonica and guitar. We really connected through music. I shared my very first songs with him.
After our last music retreat, we were so happy and were in such an amazing place, so I thought for the first time that I wanted to get pregnant. I was pregnant when we filmed the music video for ‘Time to Go,’ but I didn’t know it at the time. After the filming, I got really sick – I was deathly ill. I knew something wasn’t right. I wound up losing my child at about two and a half months.
Cassie explained that, as she reflects on the song, it was like her subconscious speaking – the words and experience have become a connection she will always have with the child she lost.
The message in this song is that every cycle of life is beautiful and should be honored, even the ones that don’t turn out as we expect.
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Out of all the songs, this one was written in the studio ‘live.’ I wanted to be open and just let it flow through me with no preconceived intentions.
Then, an opportunity arose that she couldn’t turn down. While her grief was still fresh, Cassie was invited to a five-hour workshop which centered around making a drum – traditional Native American style drums, using rawhide and creating braids.*
I started reading about all these women around the world who make these drums and compare the sound to a heartbeat. I asked Ben to come with me. We spent hours making this drum. I wanted to have my baby’s heartbeat because when I went for the second ultrasound, there was no heartbeat. Our baby’s [spirit] is in that drum. When I perform ‘Time to Go,’ I get to play my drum.
*To many Native Tribes, the drum has always been more than a simple musical instrument. It has a spirit of its own and should be protected and treated with respect. The drum is the heartbeat of the spirit, and its vibrations connect people to each other and to every living thing.
Then, an opportunity arose that she couldn’t turn down. While her grief was still fresh, Cassie was invited to a five-hour workshop which centered around making a drum – traditional Native American style drums, using rawhide and creating braids.*
I started reading about all these women around the world who make these drums and compare the sound to a heartbeat. I asked Ben to come with me. We spent hours making this drum. I wanted to have my baby’s heartbeat because when I went for the second ultrasound, there was no heartbeat. Our baby’s [spirit] is in that drum. When I perform ‘Time to Go,’ I get to play my drum.
*To many Native Tribes, the drum has always been more than a simple musical instrument. It has a spirit of its own and should be protected and treated with respect. The drum is the heartbeat of the spirit, and its vibrations connect people to each other and to every living thing.
How much artistic input do you have on the videos?
I had 100% artistic input except for the last video, Feel Like Gold. My cinematographers really wanted to do something with this last song. They built this pool with ecofriendly gold paint that I’m rolling around in. For the others, I imagined all of the shots and scouted the locations.
Anything else you’d like to say about the music video for the title track, “Feel Like Gold?”
This is the last song on the album. It’s the culmination of all the songs. We wanted to have this feeling of a dark, lonely place juxtaposed with bathing in gold.
No one else can make you feel anything, but you can make yourself feel anything you want. ‘Feel Like Gold’ to me is making peace with this younger, rebellious part of myself. It’s not time to say goodbye, but it’s time to shift the kind of relationship I have with that younger piece of me. I’d like to honor her and thank her, [but move on to something new]. There’s no judgment around what makes us feel good. And I feel like gold.
Your debut solo album was just released. Congratulations! Besides drawing from personal experience, is there another common thread?
I had 100% artistic input except for the last video, Feel Like Gold. My cinematographers really wanted to do something with this last song. They built this pool with ecofriendly gold paint that I’m rolling around in. For the others, I imagined all of the shots and scouted the locations.
Anything else you’d like to say about the music video for the title track, “Feel Like Gold?”
This is the last song on the album. It’s the culmination of all the songs. We wanted to have this feeling of a dark, lonely place juxtaposed with bathing in gold.
No one else can make you feel anything, but you can make yourself feel anything you want. ‘Feel Like Gold’ to me is making peace with this younger, rebellious part of myself. It’s not time to say goodbye, but it’s time to shift the kind of relationship I have with that younger piece of me. I’d like to honor her and thank her, [but move on to something new]. There’s no judgment around what makes us feel good. And I feel like gold.
Your debut solo album was just released. Congratulations! Besides drawing from personal experience, is there another common thread?
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In hindsight, I see that almost all of the songs are about death and rebirth.
Although, ‘Chase’ is about my deep-seated fears of marriage and monogamy. Sometimes you step into your fear and are surprised by all the colors. For me, I found that I could thrive in my marriage and be happy as an individual and nurture myself. I didn’t know I could have both of those things. I feel that our fears are calling us to heal. Releasing this album and creating this music – the journey of it - has helped me to really dance with life. Some of the best and most exciting times in life can also be dark and challenging times. How do we embrace all of it? How do we dance through it? Is there a song on the album that you particularly like to perform live? I’m most excited to do ‘Thin Air’ because it was the first one, and I got some major closure with my father. |
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Let’s talk about the Big Red Fest, which raised money and awareness for victims of domestic violence.
I was inspired by an artist named Amanda Palmer. She is an activist, author, and musician. She did a music video about Harvey Weinstein that really got me [“Mr. Weinstein Will See You Now”]. It resonated because my grandmother was a survivor of domestic violence. She’d been like a second mother to me and the closest woman in my life. She died at 100 years old. She was best friends with Linda Dugeau who founded Motor Maids [the oldest women’s motorcycle club in North America]. They were very rebellious.
The Big Red Fest was held in New York City at the Bowery Poetry Club. We had a women’s march from Washington Square Park with a 20-piece brass band, and we all wore Little Red Riding Hood capes. We were flipping the narrative [where Little Red Riding Hood had] the ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude. As part of this, many artists donated their art. One hundred percent of the proceeds went to a Women’s Shelter in Queens. My band Dirty Mae also did a private performance at the shelter.
Is this an annual event?
I want it to be an annual festival. I’m on a board right now, and we’re looking into what permissions we need in order to have it here in Rhinebeck, New York.
Where do you find sanctuary?
Being near trees…just being outside. If I could have a green, tree bath it would be so amazing.
I was inspired by an artist named Amanda Palmer. She is an activist, author, and musician. She did a music video about Harvey Weinstein that really got me [“Mr. Weinstein Will See You Now”]. It resonated because my grandmother was a survivor of domestic violence. She’d been like a second mother to me and the closest woman in my life. She died at 100 years old. She was best friends with Linda Dugeau who founded Motor Maids [the oldest women’s motorcycle club in North America]. They were very rebellious.
The Big Red Fest was held in New York City at the Bowery Poetry Club. We had a women’s march from Washington Square Park with a 20-piece brass band, and we all wore Little Red Riding Hood capes. We were flipping the narrative [where Little Red Riding Hood had] the ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude. As part of this, many artists donated their art. One hundred percent of the proceeds went to a Women’s Shelter in Queens. My band Dirty Mae also did a private performance at the shelter.
Is this an annual event?
I want it to be an annual festival. I’m on a board right now, and we’re looking into what permissions we need in order to have it here in Rhinebeck, New York.
Where do you find sanctuary?
Being near trees…just being outside. If I could have a green, tree bath it would be so amazing.
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Photo Credit: JJ Wolf
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UPCOMING EVENTS:
Solo Album Release Party Thursday, July 6 ~ 7:00 p.m. Triad Theatre 158 W. 72nd Street New York, NY Inclusion Festival July 14 through July 16 Kempton, PA An all-access festival for people with mobility challenges, etc. Cassie is teaching a sound healing there. |
