Ask an Expert
JUNE TOPIC: Communicating with the Men in Your Life
Amy Morin, LCSW
Psychotherapist, Author and Keynote Speaker |
OUR EXPERT:
Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and mental strength trainer. She's been dubbed the "self-help guru of the moment" by The Guardian and Inc. Magazine named her one of the top 100 speakers of 2018. She's also an international bestselling author. Her books 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do and 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do have been translated into 31 languages. |
I'd like to introduce my bachelor son to a woman who seems like a good match. They are in their 30s. (Dude! The clock is ticking.) She's fine with being introduced, and he doesn't seem opposed, just hesitant. How do I balance being too pushy vs. being too hands-off? Neither one is likely to make the first move, so it will take more than simply handing him a phone number and saying: "Here - call her!" ~ Beth (New England)
If your son is simply a little shy about making the first move, a little introduction could be just what he needs to meet this woman. If, however, he just isn’t interested in a relationship at this point, don’t push him.
If you know this woman well, you might invite her to your home for an informal barbeque when your son is going to be there. Of course, you’ll want both of them to know the plan ahead of time. Don’t surprise them with a meeting. If you make that happen, introduce them and share some things they might have in common (so they don’t have to guess) and give them an opportunity to chat alone.
If you have a more formal relationship with this woman, you might simply do an email introduction. State what they have in common (but avoid saying anything like you two look like a match made in heaven) and let them take it from there.
What's the best way to address everyday sexism when you're in a relationship? I think that some forms of sexism are invisible to men. So, as a woman, how do you keep that conversation going in your relationship, and what’s the best way to broach the subject? ~ Nicole (New York)
It can be helpful to approach the subject with a little curiosity. Ask questions that will get the conversation started, such as, “What are your thoughts on why women are underrepresented in leadership positions?” Questions on broad topics can be a good way to break the ice. During the discussion, you can turn the conversation toward more specific issues. Share any concerns you have or point out examples of sexism that you’ve experienced.
If you’re a good listener who shows an interest in learning, you might find your partner is willing to do the same.
If your son is simply a little shy about making the first move, a little introduction could be just what he needs to meet this woman. If, however, he just isn’t interested in a relationship at this point, don’t push him.
If you know this woman well, you might invite her to your home for an informal barbeque when your son is going to be there. Of course, you’ll want both of them to know the plan ahead of time. Don’t surprise them with a meeting. If you make that happen, introduce them and share some things they might have in common (so they don’t have to guess) and give them an opportunity to chat alone.
If you have a more formal relationship with this woman, you might simply do an email introduction. State what they have in common (but avoid saying anything like you two look like a match made in heaven) and let them take it from there.
What's the best way to address everyday sexism when you're in a relationship? I think that some forms of sexism are invisible to men. So, as a woman, how do you keep that conversation going in your relationship, and what’s the best way to broach the subject? ~ Nicole (New York)
It can be helpful to approach the subject with a little curiosity. Ask questions that will get the conversation started, such as, “What are your thoughts on why women are underrepresented in leadership positions?” Questions on broad topics can be a good way to break the ice. During the discussion, you can turn the conversation toward more specific issues. Share any concerns you have or point out examples of sexism that you’ve experienced.
If you’re a good listener who shows an interest in learning, you might find your partner is willing to do the same.
