Your Money & Business
Your Negotiation Personality: Striking the Right Chord for Ultimate Success
December 2020
By Merilee Kern
Becoming an effective negotiator takes skill. Whether for personal or professional matters, knowing how to present yourself during each individual negotiation is critical to a successful outcome.
Indeed, veteran negotiation and contracts expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, author of Think Like a Negotiator, points out that one key to being a master negotiator is intuitively employing different approaches and taking an alternate direction based on each given situation. But, in order to do this effectively, one must first understand the varying, and quite distinctive, negotiator personality archetypes. She warns that, without this strategic aptitude and application of the right persona for the deal at hand, all could be lost.
One’s ‘negotiation archetype’ is someone’s ‘way of being’ throughout the process - those particular characteristics and behaviors that one would use to describe the person and their deal-making methodology. “Learning how to effortlessly and seamlessly apply certain archetypes to specific situations is a powerful skill,” Eldonna says. “This kind of adaptability and fluidity among different deals - and even as one given deal ebbs, flows, unfolds and changes course - can gain you substantial leverage and advantages, including the ultimate win.”
What are the typical negotiation personalities? While Eldonna underscores that the following nine personality archetypes are not all-inclusive, they do represent the primary means by which the majority of people negotiate. She assures that achieving the right balance and striking just the right chord with these archetypes will pay dividends.
Indeed, veteran negotiation and contracts expert Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, author of Think Like a Negotiator, points out that one key to being a master negotiator is intuitively employing different approaches and taking an alternate direction based on each given situation. But, in order to do this effectively, one must first understand the varying, and quite distinctive, negotiator personality archetypes. She warns that, without this strategic aptitude and application of the right persona for the deal at hand, all could be lost.
One’s ‘negotiation archetype’ is someone’s ‘way of being’ throughout the process - those particular characteristics and behaviors that one would use to describe the person and their deal-making methodology. “Learning how to effortlessly and seamlessly apply certain archetypes to specific situations is a powerful skill,” Eldonna says. “This kind of adaptability and fluidity among different deals - and even as one given deal ebbs, flows, unfolds and changes course - can gain you substantial leverage and advantages, including the ultimate win.”
What are the typical negotiation personalities? While Eldonna underscores that the following nine personality archetypes are not all-inclusive, they do represent the primary means by which the majority of people negotiate. She assures that achieving the right balance and striking just the right chord with these archetypes will pay dividends.
The Politician (Influences or Outmaneuvers Others)
This is someone who often seeks support by appealing to popular passions and prejudices through carefully crafted language. A negotiation politician typically campaigns to influence or persuade others to support their point-of-view. Often this approach is only advantageous for one’s own advantage - also known as a win-lose proposition.
Helpful because: Using your charisma to get everyone on the same page for a positive cause or outcome is a great way to build success for a particular cause. This can be helpful in any situation where the greater good is the goal. It is also a great leadership strategy to guide a group towards a particular positive outcome.
Hindrance because: Relying only on our charisma and ability to galvanize others, rather than facts, figures and other pieces of information that can make a deal swing your way in more logical and quantifiable terms, can render you vulnerable when it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty for the close. Trust may be compromised if you don’t have the data to back up your position.
The Direct Communicator (Gets to the Point Every Time)
This person wants to discuss the facts only and not hear any of the backstory or an overabundance of detail. They ask for what they want. Their way of communication is clear, concise, powerful and quick.
Helpful because: You will get to the point and not waste time in the weeds with details that could delay, and possibly derail, the deal.
Hindrance because: You might put the other side off if they are not receptive to this hard-hitting style. You also may miss out on a critical piece of information that might otherwise have been revealed had you spent more time in discussion with the other party.
The Hinter (Opposite of Direct Communicator)
The Hinter archetype does not ask for anything directly; rather, they hint around at what they want. It can be done out of fear of being rejected or as a manipulation technique to get the other party to do what is wanted without asking directly.
Helpful because: It’s a way to test the waters without putting what you want out there in a more committed way. You may glean more information and results than you would have otherwise by leaving your hints open to interpretation.
Hindrance because: You may not get any positive traction on what you want to occur, or you may appear to be overtly manipulative which could hinder the deal. This ambiguity can also make coming to terms a much longer and more frustrating and arduous process.
The Storyteller (Tells Entire Story)
This is the person who, when asked what time it is, he’ll tell you how to build the watch. With this archetype it’s hard to understand what the point is because of the overabundance of information they are sharing.
Helpful because: You will disclose all details so the other side can fully understand what it is you desire or are presenting. This approach leaves little room for the other side to doubt and can foster a sense of trust.
Hindrance because: Many in today’s time-pressed society don’t have time, patience or inclination to hear the story. The receiving party may tune you out or get impatient and frustrated.
The Bully (Uses Aggressive and Browbeating Behavior)
This person may use threats, harassment, menacing words or other fear-based tactics deemed necessary to back the other side into a corner and take the power position. The objective is to intimidate the other party and make him/her give in to the terms.
Helpful because: Exerting your power and dominance upfront may prevent the other side from attempting to employ a strategy that takes advantage of you.
Hindrance because: The other side may regard you as out of control, not in your right mind, and generally unpleasant to deal with. It’s more than likely he/she will not want to do business with you again, and that your reputation will precede you with others.
The Non-Negotiator (Fears Negotiation)
This person regards negotiation as confrontational and agrees to whatever the other party wants even if it means losing out significantly. They just want the situation to go away as quickly as possible.
Helpful because: The only reason this might be helpful is if the other side interprets this as a shutdown strategy, and they either take pity on you or don’t want to take advantage of you.
Hindrance because: Aside from being perceived as weak from an image standpoint, you could also be taken advantage of. Most discussions start out with each side offering something to negotiate up or down from and go from there. If you take the first offer that’s presented when the other party started high, fully expecting to negotiate down, you may end up in a deal that doesn’t make sense.
The Victim (Parlays Hard Luck to Gain Sympathy)
This person wants the other party to “go easy,” and the hopeful end game is that the opposing party will be more receptive and agreeable to the position and terms and not negotiate as hard as he/she would otherwise.
Helpful because: Someone may indeed feel sorry for your situation and give you a break. We all have things happen in our lives and careers and, if you use this as an honest way to get a better deal, both sides can often feel good about the outcome.
Hindrance because: Oftentimes, people use this as a manipulation tactic in an attempt to get out of a situation. The other side may see this for what it is and call you out on it, which can be embarrassing and undermine your credibility. The other party may actually negotiate harder than he/she would have in response to what is perceived as an attempted manipulation.
The Nutburger (Expresses Irrational Behavior)
This archetype is someone you can’t negotiate with. This person’s behavior is irrational, overly emotional or just plain nutty. This personality type can be construed as anxious, stressed, frustrated, angry or downright weird.
Helpful because: Deflection by rant is indeed a negotiation strategy. If you go on a rant or are clearly upset about an injustice or something that is justifiably not fair and reasonable, the other side may be more apt to reevaluate your position and give you a better deal.
Hindrance because: You may lose the deal all together if the other side thinks you are unstable or unreasonable to do business with. Being logical and having the ability to effectively give and receive information is an important aspect of deal-making, and this personality type doesn’t have this capacity.
My Fair Lady & An Officer and a Gentleman (Uses Integrity)
These archetypes are what you want to strive for in your negotiations. This person is ethical and negotiates with integrity. This archetype also considers what is fair and reasonable for both sides to create a win-win outcome. Those who are most successful use some or all of the archetype characteristics above in differing situations. The key is knowing which ones to use and when to use them ethically and honorably.
Helpful because: You are using a balance of all applicable archetypes when it is required. There is an understanding of where others are coming from which allows you to present your side and to utilize a calculated approach that can be throttled as needed.
Hindrance because: You may spend more time analyzing how a person is negotiating than paying attention to the details of the negotiation itself. Overanalysis is paralysis, and you don’t want to get stuck scrutinizing on a macro level instead of negotiating the all-important micro matters.
It's important to understand the archetypes and discern where you tend to naturally fall. It's also imperative to understand how other people are categorized and how to capitalize on different types of personality approaches. Adaptability is sure to serve you well as you strive to reach agreements with others – no matter what the challenge.
This is someone who often seeks support by appealing to popular passions and prejudices through carefully crafted language. A negotiation politician typically campaigns to influence or persuade others to support their point-of-view. Often this approach is only advantageous for one’s own advantage - also known as a win-lose proposition.
Helpful because: Using your charisma to get everyone on the same page for a positive cause or outcome is a great way to build success for a particular cause. This can be helpful in any situation where the greater good is the goal. It is also a great leadership strategy to guide a group towards a particular positive outcome.
Hindrance because: Relying only on our charisma and ability to galvanize others, rather than facts, figures and other pieces of information that can make a deal swing your way in more logical and quantifiable terms, can render you vulnerable when it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty for the close. Trust may be compromised if you don’t have the data to back up your position.
The Direct Communicator (Gets to the Point Every Time)
This person wants to discuss the facts only and not hear any of the backstory or an overabundance of detail. They ask for what they want. Their way of communication is clear, concise, powerful and quick.
Helpful because: You will get to the point and not waste time in the weeds with details that could delay, and possibly derail, the deal.
Hindrance because: You might put the other side off if they are not receptive to this hard-hitting style. You also may miss out on a critical piece of information that might otherwise have been revealed had you spent more time in discussion with the other party.
The Hinter (Opposite of Direct Communicator)
The Hinter archetype does not ask for anything directly; rather, they hint around at what they want. It can be done out of fear of being rejected or as a manipulation technique to get the other party to do what is wanted without asking directly.
Helpful because: It’s a way to test the waters without putting what you want out there in a more committed way. You may glean more information and results than you would have otherwise by leaving your hints open to interpretation.
Hindrance because: You may not get any positive traction on what you want to occur, or you may appear to be overtly manipulative which could hinder the deal. This ambiguity can also make coming to terms a much longer and more frustrating and arduous process.
The Storyteller (Tells Entire Story)
This is the person who, when asked what time it is, he’ll tell you how to build the watch. With this archetype it’s hard to understand what the point is because of the overabundance of information they are sharing.
Helpful because: You will disclose all details so the other side can fully understand what it is you desire or are presenting. This approach leaves little room for the other side to doubt and can foster a sense of trust.
Hindrance because: Many in today’s time-pressed society don’t have time, patience or inclination to hear the story. The receiving party may tune you out or get impatient and frustrated.
The Bully (Uses Aggressive and Browbeating Behavior)
This person may use threats, harassment, menacing words or other fear-based tactics deemed necessary to back the other side into a corner and take the power position. The objective is to intimidate the other party and make him/her give in to the terms.
Helpful because: Exerting your power and dominance upfront may prevent the other side from attempting to employ a strategy that takes advantage of you.
Hindrance because: The other side may regard you as out of control, not in your right mind, and generally unpleasant to deal with. It’s more than likely he/she will not want to do business with you again, and that your reputation will precede you with others.
The Non-Negotiator (Fears Negotiation)
This person regards negotiation as confrontational and agrees to whatever the other party wants even if it means losing out significantly. They just want the situation to go away as quickly as possible.
Helpful because: The only reason this might be helpful is if the other side interprets this as a shutdown strategy, and they either take pity on you or don’t want to take advantage of you.
Hindrance because: Aside from being perceived as weak from an image standpoint, you could also be taken advantage of. Most discussions start out with each side offering something to negotiate up or down from and go from there. If you take the first offer that’s presented when the other party started high, fully expecting to negotiate down, you may end up in a deal that doesn’t make sense.
The Victim (Parlays Hard Luck to Gain Sympathy)
This person wants the other party to “go easy,” and the hopeful end game is that the opposing party will be more receptive and agreeable to the position and terms and not negotiate as hard as he/she would otherwise.
Helpful because: Someone may indeed feel sorry for your situation and give you a break. We all have things happen in our lives and careers and, if you use this as an honest way to get a better deal, both sides can often feel good about the outcome.
Hindrance because: Oftentimes, people use this as a manipulation tactic in an attempt to get out of a situation. The other side may see this for what it is and call you out on it, which can be embarrassing and undermine your credibility. The other party may actually negotiate harder than he/she would have in response to what is perceived as an attempted manipulation.
The Nutburger (Expresses Irrational Behavior)
This archetype is someone you can’t negotiate with. This person’s behavior is irrational, overly emotional or just plain nutty. This personality type can be construed as anxious, stressed, frustrated, angry or downright weird.
Helpful because: Deflection by rant is indeed a negotiation strategy. If you go on a rant or are clearly upset about an injustice or something that is justifiably not fair and reasonable, the other side may be more apt to reevaluate your position and give you a better deal.
Hindrance because: You may lose the deal all together if the other side thinks you are unstable or unreasonable to do business with. Being logical and having the ability to effectively give and receive information is an important aspect of deal-making, and this personality type doesn’t have this capacity.
My Fair Lady & An Officer and a Gentleman (Uses Integrity)
These archetypes are what you want to strive for in your negotiations. This person is ethical and negotiates with integrity. This archetype also considers what is fair and reasonable for both sides to create a win-win outcome. Those who are most successful use some or all of the archetype characteristics above in differing situations. The key is knowing which ones to use and when to use them ethically and honorably.
Helpful because: You are using a balance of all applicable archetypes when it is required. There is an understanding of where others are coming from which allows you to present your side and to utilize a calculated approach that can be throttled as needed.
Hindrance because: You may spend more time analyzing how a person is negotiating than paying attention to the details of the negotiation itself. Overanalysis is paralysis, and you don’t want to get stuck scrutinizing on a macro level instead of negotiating the all-important micro matters.
It's important to understand the archetypes and discern where you tend to naturally fall. It's also imperative to understand how other people are categorized and how to capitalize on different types of personality approaches. Adaptability is sure to serve you well as you strive to reach agreements with others – no matter what the challenge.
Merilee Kern, MBA, is a Forbes Business Council Member, founder of The LuxeList.com and Host of the Savvy Living TV Show. She is an internationally-regarded brand analyst, strategist, futurist and marketplace trends pundit who reports on industry change makers, movers, shakers and innovators across all B2C and B2B categories. Connect with her on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @LuxeListReports.
