November 2017 Featured Interview |
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Interview with
Barbara Slaine
Founder of the Liphe Balance Center & Conscious Dying Matters
&
Sue Broudy
Singer-songwriter & Musical Director for Conscious Dying Matters
About Barbara (on right):
Barbara Slaine is a Holistic Nutritionist, End-of-life Doula, Master Reiki Practitioner and Synergistic Therapist. Barbara has been a life-long student of spirit-mind-body therapies and has obtained certifications in an array of holistic healing modalities. She is the founder of the Liphe Balance Center in Weston, CT, a community haven for assisting people on their journey to well-being. The center hosts reputable teachers, authors, and practitioners from around the world who share their knowledge and provide resources and insights into health. Barbara is also the founder of MyHealingRooms.com, a public service information website offering a myriad of complimentary information on everything from stress management to music therapy, inspirational books, and holistic and alternative options for people diagnosed with cancer. She is dedicated to helping people navigate life’s transitions and beyond by guiding them towards the most conscientious, safe and effective options available. Conscious Dying Matters is a new venture to bring consciousness and comfort to the most sacred of transitions - the end of life.
About Sue (on left):
Sue Broudy is a freelance singer, independent songwriter, and End-of-Life Doula. She grew up with music, is classically trained on the piano and studied composition at SUNY Purchase. She has produced two CDs, one called Ancestry Walking, and an acoustic collection self titled as Singingsuebee which is ongoing. Sue served on the board of WestonArts.org and was the founder of AcousticWeston with a mission to produce high-quality concerts featuring local music students who are matched with local professional musicians to gain performance experience. Sue received training with the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA) at the Liphe Balance Center and is certified as an End-of-Life Doula. She also received training at the Regional Hospice and Palliative Care Center in Danbury, CT, and she spends time with patients singing and playing guitar at bedside. Sue received training with the Buddhist Clear Light Society and the Bhakti Center in NY with their chaplain, and she serves as a Reiki Master Practitioner. She currently works with her community and local hospices as an End of Life Doula and Energy worker. She was recently showcased on WOSRadio.com as a female songwriter of substance. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and has four children and two grandchildren.
“I sense and feel energy. Sharing music is particularly good for one’s soul, and I see this reflected on the faces and bodies of those in transition. One might lose cognitive function towards the end of their life, but hearing is the very last sense to go,” Sue shares.
Barbara Slaine is a Holistic Nutritionist, End-of-life Doula, Master Reiki Practitioner and Synergistic Therapist. Barbara has been a life-long student of spirit-mind-body therapies and has obtained certifications in an array of holistic healing modalities. She is the founder of the Liphe Balance Center in Weston, CT, a community haven for assisting people on their journey to well-being. The center hosts reputable teachers, authors, and practitioners from around the world who share their knowledge and provide resources and insights into health. Barbara is also the founder of MyHealingRooms.com, a public service information website offering a myriad of complimentary information on everything from stress management to music therapy, inspirational books, and holistic and alternative options for people diagnosed with cancer. She is dedicated to helping people navigate life’s transitions and beyond by guiding them towards the most conscientious, safe and effective options available. Conscious Dying Matters is a new venture to bring consciousness and comfort to the most sacred of transitions - the end of life.
About Sue (on left):
Sue Broudy is a freelance singer, independent songwriter, and End-of-Life Doula. She grew up with music, is classically trained on the piano and studied composition at SUNY Purchase. She has produced two CDs, one called Ancestry Walking, and an acoustic collection self titled as Singingsuebee which is ongoing. Sue served on the board of WestonArts.org and was the founder of AcousticWeston with a mission to produce high-quality concerts featuring local music students who are matched with local professional musicians to gain performance experience. Sue received training with the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA) at the Liphe Balance Center and is certified as an End-of-Life Doula. She also received training at the Regional Hospice and Palliative Care Center in Danbury, CT, and she spends time with patients singing and playing guitar at bedside. Sue received training with the Buddhist Clear Light Society and the Bhakti Center in NY with their chaplain, and she serves as a Reiki Master Practitioner. She currently works with her community and local hospices as an End of Life Doula and Energy worker. She was recently showcased on WOSRadio.com as a female songwriter of substance. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and has four children and two grandchildren.
“I sense and feel energy. Sharing music is particularly good for one’s soul, and I see this reflected on the faces and bodies of those in transition. One might lose cognitive function towards the end of their life, but hearing is the very last sense to go,” Sue shares.
Nancy Burger, senior editor, spoke with Barbara and Sue about their work and what brought them together.
Barbara, how did your journey with the Liphe Balance Center begin?
I've always been a seeker - throughout my whole life. What makes a seeker is usually someone who is challenged, which I like to call the "gift" of challenge, because it leads to growth. Because of my challenges, I started searching. When I was younger, I worked as a medical assistant, then went into television production. When I moved to Weston, CT, I started working with the Integrative Institute of Nutrition and began to realize the incredible healing opportunity when you work with mind, body and soul. I started offering nutritional workshops, and that's what led me to open the Liphe Balance Center.
What were the personal challenges that made you a seeker?
Challenges from my childhood, with my own children, and with personal mental and physical challenges. I've been through cancer, back surgery, anxiety, depression, you name it. They all made me look for options, because when we feel like we don't have options, then we feel hopeless. So, in tandem with learning and teaching about nutrition, I became aware that our well-being is about much more than just the physical. It's about what we think, because our thoughts determine how we feel. A lot of the maladies people suffer from move from the etheric into the physical body. People need to see that they have options.
How have you experienced that personally?
If I knew when I was diagnosed with cancer that I had options, perhaps I would have done things differently. I was lucky because I had a friend with me when it was suggested that I participate in a drug trial. The doctors were making it really appealing and I said, "Sure, I'll do it," but my friend said, "No you won't." A lot of women died from that trial. So, she was my angel. Now I realize that there are options, that you don't' have to get sliced and diced and chemicalized to that degree. Is there a place for Eastern and Western medicine? Absolutely, but they have to work together. I never judge, because I know what it means to be in pain - physically, emotionally, and in the soul. So, I feel like I'm in a position now to help people figure out what they need and where to find it. In some ways, I feel like a spiritual bookie. I think Western medicine is fine if it's done consciously, perhaps a little homeopathically, but we don't have to ascribe to what we're told. A lot of this is more in our control than we realize. We actually have a say in how things get handled.
Sue, you met Barbara at a Liphe Balance Center event? How did you two connect?
I've always been a seeker myself, so it's just the Universe providing opportunities. A friend of mine brought me to the center. I met Barbara briefly and got on a mailing list. The next week, I received an email invitation to a summer solstice party. Barbara said, "Bring your instrument. We'll build a fire." I knew nothing. I knew nobody. But I went to the party and I sang and played. All of a sudden, something connected me to Barbara. I began receiving emails for one workshop after another.
Is that how you heard about the end-of-life doula training session?
Yes. It was taught by Henry Ferkso-Weiss* at the Liphe Balance Center. It didn't even make sense to me at the time, but the idea resonated because my father died in 2012 by himself. I wasn't present for his death, and it never sat right with me. My elderly mother lives next door to me, and I want to be present for her death. I want to do whatever it takes to make her comfortable and to make her feel safe. That was the lotus flower. It felt like a calling. The Universe smacked me over the head and said, this is what you need to do. From that training, other doors opened.
*Henry Fersko-Weiss is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who in 2003, created the first end-of-life doula program in the United States at a hospice in New York City. In 2006, he began teaching the end-of-life doula approach publicly in New York City and then Toronto, Canada. In 2015, Henry cofounded the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA) to bring his model of doula care to organizations, communities, and private practitioners that serve the dying.
How did Conscious Dying Matters come about?
S: At the end of the doula training, Henry said to us, "I'm out of New York and New Jersey, but there's nothing up here in Connecticut. Barbara, you need to put together a team and do this in Connecticut and take it throughout New England." And Barbara, being the person she is, said, "Yes, I do!" And we just clicked.
B: I want to help people be more comfortable talking about it. There is no dying. We are living until we take our last breath. How are you going to make all those moments count, not just for your own soul, but for your family. How you die affects how your family members live for the rest of their lives. We have to actively participate. We're not victims here. We have to participate in the decisions about how things will go, what our legacy will be. If someone is labeled as a dying person, immediately they're treated differently.
What does an end-of-life doula do?
End-of-life doulas provide emotional, spiritual, and physical support at an intensely personal and crucial time. They assist the patient and family members in finding meaning, in creating a legacy, in holding space for planning how the last days will unfold. Doulas also guide and support loved ones through the last days of life and continue to follow up with the families as they process and heal.
What do you mean by "holding space?"
B: Getting out of the way and allowing whatever would be helpful to come in, which is usually love.
S: We're all energetic beings. Every cell has electromagnetic activity around it. So, we have the ability to transform any space that we walk into. We go into a room with the intention of love and to be an open and clear channel - our ego is left at the door. We walk in to create safety, harmony and compassion.
Barbara, how did your journey with the Liphe Balance Center begin?
I've always been a seeker - throughout my whole life. What makes a seeker is usually someone who is challenged, which I like to call the "gift" of challenge, because it leads to growth. Because of my challenges, I started searching. When I was younger, I worked as a medical assistant, then went into television production. When I moved to Weston, CT, I started working with the Integrative Institute of Nutrition and began to realize the incredible healing opportunity when you work with mind, body and soul. I started offering nutritional workshops, and that's what led me to open the Liphe Balance Center.
What were the personal challenges that made you a seeker?
Challenges from my childhood, with my own children, and with personal mental and physical challenges. I've been through cancer, back surgery, anxiety, depression, you name it. They all made me look for options, because when we feel like we don't have options, then we feel hopeless. So, in tandem with learning and teaching about nutrition, I became aware that our well-being is about much more than just the physical. It's about what we think, because our thoughts determine how we feel. A lot of the maladies people suffer from move from the etheric into the physical body. People need to see that they have options.
How have you experienced that personally?
If I knew when I was diagnosed with cancer that I had options, perhaps I would have done things differently. I was lucky because I had a friend with me when it was suggested that I participate in a drug trial. The doctors were making it really appealing and I said, "Sure, I'll do it," but my friend said, "No you won't." A lot of women died from that trial. So, she was my angel. Now I realize that there are options, that you don't' have to get sliced and diced and chemicalized to that degree. Is there a place for Eastern and Western medicine? Absolutely, but they have to work together. I never judge, because I know what it means to be in pain - physically, emotionally, and in the soul. So, I feel like I'm in a position now to help people figure out what they need and where to find it. In some ways, I feel like a spiritual bookie. I think Western medicine is fine if it's done consciously, perhaps a little homeopathically, but we don't have to ascribe to what we're told. A lot of this is more in our control than we realize. We actually have a say in how things get handled.
Sue, you met Barbara at a Liphe Balance Center event? How did you two connect?
I've always been a seeker myself, so it's just the Universe providing opportunities. A friend of mine brought me to the center. I met Barbara briefly and got on a mailing list. The next week, I received an email invitation to a summer solstice party. Barbara said, "Bring your instrument. We'll build a fire." I knew nothing. I knew nobody. But I went to the party and I sang and played. All of a sudden, something connected me to Barbara. I began receiving emails for one workshop after another.
Is that how you heard about the end-of-life doula training session?
Yes. It was taught by Henry Ferkso-Weiss* at the Liphe Balance Center. It didn't even make sense to me at the time, but the idea resonated because my father died in 2012 by himself. I wasn't present for his death, and it never sat right with me. My elderly mother lives next door to me, and I want to be present for her death. I want to do whatever it takes to make her comfortable and to make her feel safe. That was the lotus flower. It felt like a calling. The Universe smacked me over the head and said, this is what you need to do. From that training, other doors opened.
*Henry Fersko-Weiss is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who in 2003, created the first end-of-life doula program in the United States at a hospice in New York City. In 2006, he began teaching the end-of-life doula approach publicly in New York City and then Toronto, Canada. In 2015, Henry cofounded the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA) to bring his model of doula care to organizations, communities, and private practitioners that serve the dying.
How did Conscious Dying Matters come about?
S: At the end of the doula training, Henry said to us, "I'm out of New York and New Jersey, but there's nothing up here in Connecticut. Barbara, you need to put together a team and do this in Connecticut and take it throughout New England." And Barbara, being the person she is, said, "Yes, I do!" And we just clicked.
B: I want to help people be more comfortable talking about it. There is no dying. We are living until we take our last breath. How are you going to make all those moments count, not just for your own soul, but for your family. How you die affects how your family members live for the rest of their lives. We have to actively participate. We're not victims here. We have to participate in the decisions about how things will go, what our legacy will be. If someone is labeled as a dying person, immediately they're treated differently.
What does an end-of-life doula do?
End-of-life doulas provide emotional, spiritual, and physical support at an intensely personal and crucial time. They assist the patient and family members in finding meaning, in creating a legacy, in holding space for planning how the last days will unfold. Doulas also guide and support loved ones through the last days of life and continue to follow up with the families as they process and heal.
What do you mean by "holding space?"
B: Getting out of the way and allowing whatever would be helpful to come in, which is usually love.
S: We're all energetic beings. Every cell has electromagnetic activity around it. So, we have the ability to transform any space that we walk into. We go into a room with the intention of love and to be an open and clear channel - our ego is left at the door. We walk in to create safety, harmony and compassion.
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Sue, tell me about your work as musical director for CDM.
As part of our doula training, we were required to spend a certain number of hours volunteering, so I would bring my guitar to the Danbury Regional Hospice and wander, respectfully, in and out of rooms and plunk on the guitar, sing or chant. It transformed my songwriting, because I decided that I wanted to create music to speak to souls in transition. You know, hearing is the last sense to go, and music can have a profound effect. I had an experience with a woman at hospice who had gone 45 days without food or water. The staff were completely astounded by it. She was gone, but still breathing, and her heart was still beating. So, I started singing to her some of the songs I had written. Her whole body heard what I was doing and loosened, her breaths became longer, her face relaxed, everything about her relaxed. I did it for three days in a row. Five days after that, she passed. I can tell you that music impacts people in a big way at the end of life. |
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What do you hope to accomplish through CDM?
B: The biggest gift to our lives is to help people with their death. We prepare for a birth, but we don't prepare for death. I want to help with that.
S: Death is still not considered just another part of life, and we hope to change that in small ways by being present and reverent for those who need help.
B: The biggest gift to our lives is to help people with their death. We prepare for a birth, but we don't prepare for death. I want to help with that.
S: Death is still not considered just another part of life, and we hope to change that in small ways by being present and reverent for those who need help.
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