Ask an Expert
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NOVEMBER 2022 TOPIC: Dissed Due to Age
Frieda Birnbaum, Ph.D.
Research Psychologist & Psychotherapist |
OUR EXPERT:
Frieda Birnbaum, Ph.D., is a research psychologist and psychotherapist in Saddle River, New Jersey and the award-winning author of Life Begins at 60: A New View of Motherhood, Marriage and Reinventing Ourselves and What Price Power: An In-Depth Study of the Professional Woman in a Relationship. An expert on topics such as family dynamics, parenthood, relationships, addiction, anxiety and depression, Frieda is a seasoned media personality and commentator who is adept at discerning the psychological underpinnings of current issues and parsing the psychological profiles of various newsmakers - politicians, celebrities, criminals, etc. Notably, Frieda is the oldest woman in America to give birth to twins, lending her a unique perspective on issues related to parenting and the empowerment of women at any age. |
“I’m a 62-year-old middle school teacher. My students aren’t the only ones who walk in the first day and assume I’m going to be an ‘old hag’ and teach with an antiquated style/materials. New – and younger – colleagues are just as bad. It usually takes a couple of months before everyone realizes I’m still excited about my job. I have to prove myself over and over. Any tips?” ~ Anonymous (SC)
Since when is 62 years old? It sounds like you need to do more than teach middle school. Use your experience to teach everyone else what 62 is supposed to be. Only if you are comfortable with yourself will other people feel the same. Meanwhile, you are teaching others that 62 is not old.
“My son talks to me like I’m a child. At 82, I’m still capable of making my own decisions. I’m more forgetful than I used to be, but I know what I want. I love my son to pieces, and he helps me out a lot, so I don’t want to seem ungrateful. Is there any easy way to broach the subject?” ~ Mrs. B
Just tell him. He will probably be relieved to know that the responsibility is not his. You will both be more likely to have more fun and carefree moments. Maybe you can show your son that you can help him with some of his own decisions.
“I live in a senior facility, and I can say that ageism exists even amongst my elder peers. If you are someone who has great mobility and a sharp mind, you’re treated differently than those who are less mobile and have slowed down in many ways.” ~ Anonymous
Being slow and less mobile does not mean you are less aware or have less insight. Older people are wise and experienced. If you take the time to listen, you will gain a lot of knowledge. It is worth having patience and knowing that someone with lack of mobility and a slow pace can offer more than someone who is sharp and mobile. Just take the time to find out.
Note: Perception needs to change in all age groups. We can do our part by showing seniors respect, including those who are less physically abled.
Since when is 62 years old? It sounds like you need to do more than teach middle school. Use your experience to teach everyone else what 62 is supposed to be. Only if you are comfortable with yourself will other people feel the same. Meanwhile, you are teaching others that 62 is not old.
“My son talks to me like I’m a child. At 82, I’m still capable of making my own decisions. I’m more forgetful than I used to be, but I know what I want. I love my son to pieces, and he helps me out a lot, so I don’t want to seem ungrateful. Is there any easy way to broach the subject?” ~ Mrs. B
Just tell him. He will probably be relieved to know that the responsibility is not his. You will both be more likely to have more fun and carefree moments. Maybe you can show your son that you can help him with some of his own decisions.
“I live in a senior facility, and I can say that ageism exists even amongst my elder peers. If you are someone who has great mobility and a sharp mind, you’re treated differently than those who are less mobile and have slowed down in many ways.” ~ Anonymous
Being slow and less mobile does not mean you are less aware or have less insight. Older people are wise and experienced. If you take the time to listen, you will gain a lot of knowledge. It is worth having patience and knowing that someone with lack of mobility and a slow pace can offer more than someone who is sharp and mobile. Just take the time to find out.
Note: Perception needs to change in all age groups. We can do our part by showing seniors respect, including those who are less physically abled.
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