The American Dream: One Woman's Perspective and Triumphs
Q&A with Author
Barbara Sommer Feigin
February 2024
Barbara Sommer Feigin
Photo Courtesy: Barbara Sommer Feigin
Photo Courtesy: Barbara Sommer Feigin
Barbara discusses her family's harrowing escape from Nazi Germany and how the values her parents stressed during her formative years helped her become a strong and resilient woman who made it to the top of a male-dominated industry.
When you found out about your family’s harrowing escape from Nazi Germany, did this discovery help you understand anything new about your parents, such as how they raised you, how they led their lives?
Yes, the discovery of my father’s journal chronicling our family’s escape opened my mind to so much about my parents that I’d never even thought about as I was growing up. For me, the journal shone a bright light on the fundamental aspects of their character that made them who they were: their courage and bravery, their determination and perseverance, their optimistic spirit and resilience, and their fervent belief that in America, the land of the free, with education, hard work, and persistence, big dreams can come true. They modeled all of these traits in the way they lived their lives and the way they raised me.
Why do you think your parents never spoke of the escape?
My sense is that there were probably three main reasons why my parents never spoke of the escape. First, they were focused and concentrated on the future, not the past — on making a new life for our family in America, the land of the free. Second, they had experienced truly terrifying and horrific times in the prelude to and during their death-defying escape from Nazi Germany — memories which I’m sure they tried to repress. And finally, my mother had serious health issues which required all-consuming attention.
Yes, the discovery of my father’s journal chronicling our family’s escape opened my mind to so much about my parents that I’d never even thought about as I was growing up. For me, the journal shone a bright light on the fundamental aspects of their character that made them who they were: their courage and bravery, their determination and perseverance, their optimistic spirit and resilience, and their fervent belief that in America, the land of the free, with education, hard work, and persistence, big dreams can come true. They modeled all of these traits in the way they lived their lives and the way they raised me.
Why do you think your parents never spoke of the escape?
My sense is that there were probably three main reasons why my parents never spoke of the escape. First, they were focused and concentrated on the future, not the past — on making a new life for our family in America, the land of the free. Second, they had experienced truly terrifying and horrific times in the prelude to and during their death-defying escape from Nazi Germany — memories which I’m sure they tried to repress. And finally, my mother had serious health issues which required all-consuming attention.
What do you remember — if anything — about that first year in America?
I have no memories at all of our first year in America.
What types of values did your parents teach you?
My parents had a very strong value system which they modeled in the way they lived their lives. Their values have become my own, and I’ve tried to pass them along, successfully I believe, to my own sons. Among the most important of these values are honor and integrity, having high standards, being proud and independent, always striving to be the best you can be, generosity of spirit, courage and bravery, determination and perseverance, and optimism and resilience. Undergirding all these values was their strong belief in the importance of family and their fundamental principle for living: dream big, work hard, and never quit.
It took courage, strength, and resilience for your parents to escape Nazi Germany. Even though you don’t remember anything about the journey, do you believe its aftermath helped you to become an independent and resourceful woman?
I have no memories at all of our first year in America.
What types of values did your parents teach you?
My parents had a very strong value system which they modeled in the way they lived their lives. Their values have become my own, and I’ve tried to pass them along, successfully I believe, to my own sons. Among the most important of these values are honor and integrity, having high standards, being proud and independent, always striving to be the best you can be, generosity of spirit, courage and bravery, determination and perseverance, and optimism and resilience. Undergirding all these values was their strong belief in the importance of family and their fundamental principle for living: dream big, work hard, and never quit.
It took courage, strength, and resilience for your parents to escape Nazi Germany. Even though you don’t remember anything about the journey, do you believe its aftermath helped you to become an independent and resourceful woman?
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Without question, experiencing the aftermath of our family’s escape and my parents building a new life from nothing in America helped me to become an independent and resourceful woman. I was strongly influenced both consciously and subconsciously by my parents’ strong value system and by our life experience which was based heavily on independence and resourcefulness. When I was eleven years old, my mother was given a terminal cancer diagnosis, and I had to take over many of the duties my mother had traditionally performed: marketing, laundry, cleaning, and the like. This experience, in a traumatic time for our family, taught me a lot about independence and resourcefulness.
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"Without question, experiencing the aftermath of our family’s escape and my parents building a new life from nothing in America helped me to become an independent and resourceful woman." ~ B.S.F. |
You had a successful career as an executive in advertising starting in the 1960s. Please name one or two challenges you faced as a woman in this industry and how you overcame these challenges.
When I graduated from business school, I wanted to go into marketing. The career-path jobs in marketing were those with profit and loss responsibility — product or brand management. But those jobs simply were not open to women at that time. So, I got into marketing through the back door (through market research). My first job as a market research trainee was at Vick Chemical Company, now part of Procter & Gamble. I loved the job and got very positive feedback about my performance.
After about a year, I thought: It’s time to talk to my boss about career path development and compensation. I made an appointment with him, and nervously told him why I was there. He stared at me for a moment, then threw his head back and roared with laughter. I asked him why he was laughing, and he said, ‘There is no career path. They get married, have babies, and leave.’ I asked him, ‘Who is they?’ He said, ‘Women.’ I said, ‘I plan to get married and have babies, but I went to business school; I plan to have a career.’ He said, ‘Barbara, if that’s what you want, I can’t help you. You have to leave.’ And so I did...and found my way into the advertising business which I loved and where I built my pioneering career.
When I graduated from business school, I wanted to go into marketing. The career-path jobs in marketing were those with profit and loss responsibility — product or brand management. But those jobs simply were not open to women at that time. So, I got into marketing through the back door (through market research). My first job as a market research trainee was at Vick Chemical Company, now part of Procter & Gamble. I loved the job and got very positive feedback about my performance.
After about a year, I thought: It’s time to talk to my boss about career path development and compensation. I made an appointment with him, and nervously told him why I was there. He stared at me for a moment, then threw his head back and roared with laughter. I asked him why he was laughing, and he said, ‘There is no career path. They get married, have babies, and leave.’ I asked him, ‘Who is they?’ He said, ‘Women.’ I said, ‘I plan to get married and have babies, but I went to business school; I plan to have a career.’ He said, ‘Barbara, if that’s what you want, I can’t help you. You have to leave.’ And so I did...and found my way into the advertising business which I loved and where I built my pioneering career.
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"I believe that it’s not always possible to plan everything in advance. It’s important to be open to new opportunities as they arise and sometimes to take the risks involved in capitalizing on those opportunities. Luck and timing can play a hugely important role." ~ B.S.F. |
In your book, you write: “So much of life is about luck and timing.” Please explain.
I believe that it’s not always possible to plan everything in advance. It’s important to be open to new opportunities as they arise and sometimes to take the risks involved in capitalizing on those opportunities. Luck and timing can play a hugely important role. Despite all the hardships and excruciating frustrations my father faced as he frantically tried to find a way to get our family out of Germany, he was lucky to be able, finally, to arrange passage for us on one of the last trains out of Berlin. Absent his ability to do that, we would no doubt have faced death in the concentration camps. |
One of the luckiest pieces of timing in my life was when I locked eyes with my future husband, Jim, as we were both looking for Mother’s Day cards at the Harvard Coop in Cambridge. We edged closer and closer to one another at the counter and began a conversation. And this continued happily for the rest of his life!
From your perspective, what is the most important characteristic a woman needs to become a good leader?
A woman needs a constellation of characteristics to be a good leader: vision, team building, communication skills, energy, enthusiasm, empathy, resilience, and most of all, the driving principle to dream big, work hard, and never quit.
What does the American Dream mean to you? Has your perception changed over time?
To me, the American Dream is freedom: freedom to be who you want, to strive for what you want to achieve, to say what you want, read what you want, go where you want. In this regard, I was very much influenced by my parents. Personally, my American Dream has been to have a strong, close-knit family, to have a pioneering career, and to make a difference in the world. My perception has not changed over time.
Where do you find sanctuary?
I love being on the beautiful beaches of Long Island, New York. The serenity there gives me a profound sense of peace and relaxation. I live near the East River in New York City, and every morning, I go for a three-mile walk along the river by myself. This is my time for introspection. And to re-charge, I love to travel. I get great energy from experiencing new places and new cultures, learning their history, and interacting with their people.
From your perspective, what is the most important characteristic a woman needs to become a good leader?
A woman needs a constellation of characteristics to be a good leader: vision, team building, communication skills, energy, enthusiasm, empathy, resilience, and most of all, the driving principle to dream big, work hard, and never quit.
What does the American Dream mean to you? Has your perception changed over time?
To me, the American Dream is freedom: freedom to be who you want, to strive for what you want to achieve, to say what you want, read what you want, go where you want. In this regard, I was very much influenced by my parents. Personally, my American Dream has been to have a strong, close-knit family, to have a pioneering career, and to make a difference in the world. My perception has not changed over time.
Where do you find sanctuary?
I love being on the beautiful beaches of Long Island, New York. The serenity there gives me a profound sense of peace and relaxation. I live near the East River in New York City, and every morning, I go for a three-mile walk along the river by myself. This is my time for introspection. And to re-charge, I love to travel. I get great energy from experiencing new places and new cultures, learning their history, and interacting with their people.
Barbara Feigin graduated from Whitman College, earning a Bachelor of Arts degree in political science and completed a graduate program in business administration run jointly by Harvard Business School and Radcliffe Graduate School. In her illustrious 30-year career at Grey Advertising (now Grey Global Group), she solidified her reputation as a visionary thinker. In all her years as a senior advertising executive and a corporate director, she was more often than not the only woman in the room. In 2017, Barbara was named one of the century’s Legendary Pioneers by Grey.
Barbara has passed her swagger and hard work ethic on to her three high-achieving sons: Peter, President of the Milwaukee Bucks and FiservForum; Daniel, head of Trevor Day School, a nursery through 12th grade independent school in New York City; and Michael, managing editor at Trellus, an online healthcare start-up.
Barbara has passed her swagger and hard work ethic on to her three high-achieving sons: Peter, President of the Milwaukee Bucks and FiservForum; Daniel, head of Trevor Day School, a nursery through 12th grade independent school in New York City; and Michael, managing editor at Trellus, an online healthcare start-up.
