September 2023 Featured Interview
Donor Family Turns Grief into a Lifetime of Giving
Interview with
Tara Storch
Co-Founder of Taylor's Gift Foundation
Tara Storch
Photo Credit: Rachel Logan
Photo Credit: Rachel Logan
The Day that Changed the Storch Family's Lives Forever:
In March of 2010, the Storch family was enjoying a ski vacation during spring break in Colorado. Tara took her youngest, Peyton, to the lodge for hot chocolate. “She was tired,” Tara shares. Her husband, Todd, eldest, Taylor, and son, Ryan, decided to go for a final run down the slopes. Taylor was just 13 years old when she lost control and hit a tree. This was the moment when this family’s world turned upside down. After doctors and nurses at the hospital worked tirelessly to try to save Taylor, their worst nightmare was realized. Taylor was pronounced brain dead, and Tara and her husband made the decision to donate Taylor’s organs, so she could save others.
In March of 2010, the Storch family was enjoying a ski vacation during spring break in Colorado. Tara took her youngest, Peyton, to the lodge for hot chocolate. “She was tired,” Tara shares. Her husband, Todd, eldest, Taylor, and son, Ryan, decided to go for a final run down the slopes. Taylor was just 13 years old when she lost control and hit a tree. This was the moment when this family’s world turned upside down. After doctors and nurses at the hospital worked tirelessly to try to save Taylor, their worst nightmare was realized. Taylor was pronounced brain dead, and Tara and her husband made the decision to donate Taylor’s organs, so she could save others.
About Taylor's Gift Foundation:
Taylor’s Gift Foundation is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization committed to providing emotional and grief support to organ donor families through its flagship grief support program. Founded in 2010, the Foundation has a long-standing purpose to help individuals and families who are walking the path of grief. Led by professionals and trained volunteers, its grief support program provides a safe environment for those who grieve to express their feelings with someone who has experienced a grief journey similar to theirs.
Taylor’s Gift Foundation is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization committed to providing emotional and grief support to organ donor families through its flagship grief support program. Founded in 2010, the Foundation has a long-standing purpose to help individuals and families who are walking the path of grief. Led by professionals and trained volunteers, its grief support program provides a safe environment for those who grieve to express their feelings with someone who has experienced a grief journey similar to theirs.
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Video Linked with Permission of the Storch Family
Myrna Haskell, executive editor, spoke with Tara about that fateful day, how Taylor’s Gift Foundation has helped others experiencing grief over a sudden loss, and how they continue to celebrate their daughter Taylor.
What do you remember about those moments in the hospital right after the accident?
When we arrived in Grand Junction, Colorado, we were met by a team of doctors who told us how serious her injuries were. But as a parent, you just can’t go there in your mind. Our minds immediately went to thinking about how long it would take her to recover from this. She was about to start high school, and she was going to try out for the volleyball team. I remember the neurologist told us that was the least of our worries, that we had something very serious in front of us. The hospital staff did everything they could for her. It got to the point when we knew we were going to lose her. Then, the neurologist let us know she was brain dead.
What do you remember about those moments in the hospital right after the accident?
When we arrived in Grand Junction, Colorado, we were met by a team of doctors who told us how serious her injuries were. But as a parent, you just can’t go there in your mind. Our minds immediately went to thinking about how long it would take her to recover from this. She was about to start high school, and she was going to try out for the volleyball team. I remember the neurologist told us that was the least of our worries, that we had something very serious in front of us. The hospital staff did everything they could for her. It got to the point when we knew we were going to lose her. Then, the neurologist let us know she was brain dead.
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It was shortly after that when a nurse came in and knelt beside me and said, ‘Your daughter is a beautiful candidate for organ donation. Would you consider it?” It was the way she asked – so kind and gentle. My husband and I looked right at each other and immediately said, “Yes, of course.” It wasn’t a difficult decision for us. It really came from the type of child Taylor was. Taylor was a very ‘other-centered’ person. A friend of Taylor’s told us that she was everyone’s best friend. She was the kid taking her lunch tray to sit with someone who had no one to sit with.
We never felt rushed during the process, and Taylor went on to save and improve the lives of five people. Who helps families like yours through this process? Once a decision has been made, the hospital calls their local Organ Procurement Organization (OPO). There are 55 of these across the United States. These organizations have advocates who come and sit with the donor family. They walk you through the process. Myrna [Garcia], our advocate, sat with us and walked us through the whole process – she cried with us, she was in crisis with us. These advocates are very special people. Our family really connected with her, and she now serves on our foundation’s board. |
Taylor Storch
Photo Courtesy: Storch Family |
After the process is over, they’re [advocates working with procurement organizations] the ones who check in on the donor family, help with writing letters to recipients if that’s what a family chooses to do, etc.
So, donor families learn about those they’ve saved?
Donor families can write letters to the recipients, and recipients can write to donor families. This is all coordinated through the procurement organization. We are very blessed to have connected with four of the five recipients.
I’d like to learn about your journey to date with Taylor’s Gift Foundation and what you specifically offer donor families.
So, donor families learn about those they’ve saved?
Donor families can write letters to the recipients, and recipients can write to donor families. This is all coordinated through the procurement organization. We are very blessed to have connected with four of the five recipients.
I’d like to learn about your journey to date with Taylor’s Gift Foundation and what you specifically offer donor families.
Left to Right: Ryan, Tara, Peyton, Todd & Taylor
Photo Courtesy: Storch Family |
Our foundation was really [conceived] by my husband, Todd. He believed this was the good that would come out of our tragedy. He felt called to do something positive. We either were going to cave into our grief, or we were going to find the good. And the good was that Taylor saved lives, and we knew [our response to this tragedy] would especially affect our other two children.
When we first started in 2010, we didn’t know much about organ donation at all. So, the foundation initially started as a way to share the importance of organ donation and to open up the conversation about it. It’s not an easy topic. When people initially think about organ and tissue donation, they immediately think of death. But it’s all about life and making a lasting difference for others. We coined the phrase, ‘Outlive yourself.’ We tell people that organ donation is about life, a final act of service to others.
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But along the way, we realized there wasn’t dedicated grief support specifically for the donor side. So, we started our Taylor’s Gift Grief Support Program. Grief is different for the donor’s side. It’s complicated – you have the grief from the sudden loss and then the silver lining of gratefulness that your loved one was able to save others. It’s really where grief and gratefulness share the same space. We understood this because we had walked it.
We started this program in 2021 [when mental health was at the forefront of people’s minds due to the COVID pandemic.] The program is for any donor family in the nation. We help donor families who have experienced the loss of a loved one – not just those who have lost children. We provide free grief support for an entire year. We provide them with a ‘Caring Guide,’ which is peer-to-peer support. This enables donor families to talk to someone who has walked through grief themselves. We are partners with ten OPOs throughout the nation, and that number is growing. We are in touch with these families within 48 to 72 hours. We also have support groups. Currently, we are working on ‘loss specific’ groups – child loss, suicide loss, spousal loss. We’re hoping to start these ‘loss specific’ groups in early 2024.
How do people find out about your services?
We get referrals through OPOs and through word of mouth. We do interviews, like this one, as well.
We started this program in 2021 [when mental health was at the forefront of people’s minds due to the COVID pandemic.] The program is for any donor family in the nation. We help donor families who have experienced the loss of a loved one – not just those who have lost children. We provide free grief support for an entire year. We provide them with a ‘Caring Guide,’ which is peer-to-peer support. This enables donor families to talk to someone who has walked through grief themselves. We are partners with ten OPOs throughout the nation, and that number is growing. We are in touch with these families within 48 to 72 hours. We also have support groups. Currently, we are working on ‘loss specific’ groups – child loss, suicide loss, spousal loss. We’re hoping to start these ‘loss specific’ groups in early 2024.
How do people find out about your services?
We get referrals through OPOs and through word of mouth. We do interviews, like this one, as well.
What do you wish you had in terms of resources/supports when you went through your decision while grieving the loss of your daughter?
I wish we had someone to talk to who had walked in our shoes. This is what we provide now through Taylor’s Gift Foundation. We also didn’t want finances to get in the way, so our services are free.
Since founding your nonprofit, what is a memorable experience you’ve had that demonstrated to you how important your foundation work is for grieving families?
I had a conversation with a woman whose husband had passed. In the beginning, she was just lost. She never thought that joy would come back into her life again. Through our program, she found that joy again. She felt seen and heard. I see her posts on social media, and she is smiling and with friends. It’s amazing to see the impact our program has had – we’ve given people hope. You don’t move on from the loss of a loved one, but you can move forward. Just knowing that our daughter Taylor is a vessel for so much good is truly beautiful.
What are the future goals of the foundation?
Our big goal is that whenever a donor family is in need of grief support Taylor’s Gift Foundation is the one on their radar. We want to be the premier organization that can help these donor families.
I wish we had someone to talk to who had walked in our shoes. This is what we provide now through Taylor’s Gift Foundation. We also didn’t want finances to get in the way, so our services are free.
Since founding your nonprofit, what is a memorable experience you’ve had that demonstrated to you how important your foundation work is for grieving families?
I had a conversation with a woman whose husband had passed. In the beginning, she was just lost. She never thought that joy would come back into her life again. Through our program, she found that joy again. She felt seen and heard. I see her posts on social media, and she is smiling and with friends. It’s amazing to see the impact our program has had – we’ve given people hope. You don’t move on from the loss of a loved one, but you can move forward. Just knowing that our daughter Taylor is a vessel for so much good is truly beautiful.
What are the future goals of the foundation?
Our big goal is that whenever a donor family is in need of grief support Taylor’s Gift Foundation is the one on their radar. We want to be the premier organization that can help these donor families.
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How did you navigate the impact Taylor’s death had on your family life? With two other children to raise, did you try to find a sense of normalcy?
As a parent, you want to get back to normal as soon as possible. However, when you’re in this, your normal is so different. We went from a family of five to a family of four. It changes the dynamics in the family. My husband and I made a conscious choice to love our children where they are. Some days are going to be horrible, and some days are going to be better. But it’s important that you don’t try to ‘fix.’ Their world shifted as ours did, and we had to love them where they were. This kind of tragedy can cause marriages to fall apart. You’re all on this roller coaster, but you’re on different tracks. My grief is different from my husband’s, which is different from my daughter’s. We realized we were grieving differently – my husband wanted to be around Taylor's friends, and I couldn’t be because it made realize what I lost. A couple [who were further along in their own grief journey than we were at the time] told us that we had to give each other the grace to grieve in a way that each individual needed to grieve. This grace needed to extend to our children. There’s no cookie-cutter way to grieve. |
Left to Right: Ryan, Tara, Todd & Peyton
Photo Courtesy: Storch Family |
In what ways – besides your work through the foundation – have you celebrated Taylor’s life since her passing?
One thing Taylor loved was Einstein’s Bagels. Tara laughs. We go to get Einstein’s Bagels on her birthday. We also give a scholarship [Taylor Storch Memorial Scholarship] to local, graduating high school seniors who are outliving themselves. These are students who are making a lasting difference in their communities.
One thing Taylor loved was Einstein’s Bagels. Tara laughs. We go to get Einstein’s Bagels on her birthday. We also give a scholarship [Taylor Storch Memorial Scholarship] to local, graduating high school seniors who are outliving themselves. These are students who are making a lasting difference in their communities.
How has your foundation work helped you and your family to find peace?
I don’t think we’ll ever be at peace with losing Taylor. But I think the decision we made about organ and tissue donation helped us find strength. Seeing the families that she touched and being connected with them has given us so much strength.
The work I do for the foundation is how I spend time with Taylor and honor her legacy. It’s my ‘why.’ My son Ryan is on our advisory board. He just got married last year, and they had a new baby and named her Claire Taylor.
I also have a beautiful full-circle story to share. Patricia, Taylor's heart recipient, was a labor and delivery nurse. During a visit, Patricia used her nurse's stethoscope, so Peyton could hear Taylor’s heartbeat. Years later, Peyton went to nursing school, and for her graduation gift, Joe (Patricia's husband), sent Peyton that exact stethoscope with a sweet note. Today, Peyton is a labor and delivery nurse.
The loss of Taylor changed our world in such a big way, but it made my kids more compassionate and empathetic. They can sit with others going through hard things. Not everyone can do that.
I don’t think we’ll ever be at peace with losing Taylor. But I think the decision we made about organ and tissue donation helped us find strength. Seeing the families that she touched and being connected with them has given us so much strength.
The work I do for the foundation is how I spend time with Taylor and honor her legacy. It’s my ‘why.’ My son Ryan is on our advisory board. He just got married last year, and they had a new baby and named her Claire Taylor.
I also have a beautiful full-circle story to share. Patricia, Taylor's heart recipient, was a labor and delivery nurse. During a visit, Patricia used her nurse's stethoscope, so Peyton could hear Taylor’s heartbeat. Years later, Peyton went to nursing school, and for her graduation gift, Joe (Patricia's husband), sent Peyton that exact stethoscope with a sweet note. Today, Peyton is a labor and delivery nurse.
The loss of Taylor changed our world in such a big way, but it made my kids more compassionate and empathetic. They can sit with others going through hard things. Not everyone can do that.
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Photo Courtesy: Storch Family
Any final words or comments you’d like to share?
People often ask me, ‘How can I be a friend to someone going through grief?’
Tara explains that this always brings her back to this moment.
It was weeks after we lost Taylor that our doorbell rang. Someone from the community – her name was Daniella - was standing there and said, ‘I don’t know what to say. I just want to let you know I’m here.’ That was the most incredible and beautiful moment. She wasn’t trying to fix me. She was just trying to let me know she was there. So, I tell people to be a Daniella – to show up. Ring that doorbell, even if it’s uncomfortable. People don’t want to say the wrong thing, so they say nothing at all. Grief tends to isolate you. If people don’t say anything, it puts you even more on that island.
Where do you find sanctuary?
I find sanctuary through my faith, during quiet prayer time in the mornings.
People often ask me, ‘How can I be a friend to someone going through grief?’
Tara explains that this always brings her back to this moment.
It was weeks after we lost Taylor that our doorbell rang. Someone from the community – her name was Daniella - was standing there and said, ‘I don’t know what to say. I just want to let you know I’m here.’ That was the most incredible and beautiful moment. She wasn’t trying to fix me. She was just trying to let me know she was there. So, I tell people to be a Daniella – to show up. Ring that doorbell, even if it’s uncomfortable. People don’t want to say the wrong thing, so they say nothing at all. Grief tends to isolate you. If people don’t say anything, it puts you even more on that island.
Where do you find sanctuary?
I find sanctuary through my faith, during quiet prayer time in the mornings.
