Play & ​Book ​Excerpts

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Sorry I Haven't Texted You Back
(Andrews McMeel Publishing)
© 2020 Alicia Cook

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Alicia is an upcoming guest on the 8th episode of Sanctuary's Coffee & Conversation on February 18th.
A Path Toward Healing:
​Bestselling Author Alicia Cook Sheds a Light on the Journeys of Those Left Behind when Addiction Takes a Loved One

Track Two 

​No one knows how much she cried last
Wednesday. Because she still hit her
marks. She got out of bed, though she
didn’t fix the covers. She showered but
forgot to rinse out the conditioner. She
put on clean clothes, though they were
a bit wrinkled.
 
There were no runs in her tights, no
mascara clumps by her eyes. She was
only five minutes late, which is
considered “on time” when you’re
running on four hours of sleep and
Seasonal Depression. She didn’t engage
in conversation but greeted everyone
with a smile. She went home without an
appetite but still cooked dinner. She
had sex but didn’t finish.
 
No one knows how much she cried last
Wednesday because she was quiet
about it, and to some, pain is only
noticed when it is public, and loud, and
obvious. No one knows how much she
cried last Wednesday because
Thursday was better and, by then, she
​didn’t want to dwell on yesterday.
 
Currently listening to:
“You Don’t Know How It Feels” by Tom Petty

Track Three 

​We may sleep together,
but my dreams are my own.
 
That’s always been my problem. I
shut people out. I only let them see me
rom certain angles, in certain
lighting, at certain moments. My
mother says it’s because I am
independent. My therapist says it’s my
defense mechanism. My ex says it’s
why we broke up. My friends say they
love me anyway.
 
I say it’s because I
feel safest in half
measures.
 
I’ll love you—but not
completely. I’ll hold your
hand—but won’t interlace our
fingers.
I’ll take pictures—but won’t tag you.
I’ll miss you—but never enough to
ever question leaving.
 
Currently listening to: “What Now” by Rihanna 

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Track Five 

I don’t tell you that I went to work
today in the shirt I slept in last night. I
don’t tell you that I cried on the couch
for no reason.
 
I don’t tell you that I am hungover in
the middle of the week. I don’t tell you
I can’t recall the last time my mind
didn’t hurt.
 
I don’t need to tell you any of this for
you to sense that burnout is imminent.
You don’t need to know the whole
story to understand the story.
 
That is why you are beautiful.
 
You tell me you are here if I want to
talk. You tell me I better sleep tonight
because the bags under my eyes are
atrocious. You tell me I better eat and
take an iron pill.
 
I don’t push back. I sincerely tell you
that I am trying. You believe me, and
you believe in me. And that’s the
precarious, precious cycle that keeps
me going.
 
Thank you for not needing the whole
story to understand the story.
 
Currently listening to:
“Most of All” by Brandi Carlile​

Track Six 
​
I implore you
 
crawl out of that grave
before the dust settles
before the grass
returns.
 
Before you get too
comfortable with death, with
oblivion.
Before your fingerprints
and footprints are wiped clean.
Before the world
gets used to spinning without you.
 
You’re too
priceless to
remain  lifeless in
cheap pine.
In a dress you didn’t
choose. In caked-on
makeup.
You never slept well on your back.
 
Break your nails.
Scuff your
knuckles. Swallow
the ground.
Bloom.
 
You belong here on the surface,
with pomegranates and rain and fig trees,
with traffic and lavender and morning breath.
 
Not wherever comes next. Not yet.
 
Not on a day like this when
your existence helps others exist.
 
Currently listening to:
“Reasons Not to Die” by Ryn Weaver

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BOOK LAYOUT DESIGN

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Photo Credit: Kamelia Ani Photography

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Alicia Cook is the author behind 2016’s bestselling book of poetry, Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately, 2018’s I Hope My Voice Doesn’t Skip, and 2020’s Sorry I Haven’t Texted You Back.

Alicia dedicates much of her life to shedding light on how drug addiction impacts the mental health of families. An essayist and speaker, her activism to fight the opioid epidemic is far-reaching and has garnered a worldwide readership and her very own episode on the Emmy-nominated PBS series Here’s the Story.

Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately was a finalist in the 2016 Goodreads Choice Awards. Alicia was the recipient of 2017’s Everyday Hero award from NJTV and 2018’s Women with Voices award from the Women with Voices Foundation. She was named a 2019 Healthcare Hero finalist by NJBiz. Her undergraduate alma mater named her its Distinguished Alumni of the Year in 2020.
​
Alicia’s songwriting has been recognized by American Songwriter Magazine (four-time honorable mention), Music City Song Star (semi-finalist), and the American Songwriting Awards (winner). 

Alicia's Website