Career Journey
Filomena Fanelli Forges Ahead through Life’s Changes
October 2021
Filomena Fanelli
With the COVID pandemic creating personal and business challenges felt around the world, finding ways to embrace change has been a mantra for many. Among the many adaptations affecting firms and their employees has been a 31 percent increase in telework options, according the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. As well, of the parents working during pandemic-imposed, stay-at-home orders, many were faced with taking paid or unpaid time off, quitting their job, or shifting to evening or weekend work hours in order to care for their children, reports the U.S. Census Bureau.
Business owner Filomena Fanelli applied her 20-plus years of experience in public relations to navigate her company, Impact PR & Communications, Ltd., through the significant changes of the past few years. As CEO and founder of her award-winning agency in New York’s Hudson Valley, Filomena had already advanced from an early administrative assistant position to vice president of a large public relations firm; shifted into marriage, motherhood and consulting work; and redirected herself into entrepreneurship with the founding of her boutique agency seven years ago. Through it all, she was named an ATHENA International honoree and a top woman in business by Hudson Valley magazine, among other recognitions. Her firm has been recognized as a “Top Women-Run Workplace of the Year” by the Stevie® Awards, an international recognition, and has won numerous awards for outstanding client campaigns.
Business owner Filomena Fanelli applied her 20-plus years of experience in public relations to navigate her company, Impact PR & Communications, Ltd., through the significant changes of the past few years. As CEO and founder of her award-winning agency in New York’s Hudson Valley, Filomena had already advanced from an early administrative assistant position to vice president of a large public relations firm; shifted into marriage, motherhood and consulting work; and redirected herself into entrepreneurship with the founding of her boutique agency seven years ago. Through it all, she was named an ATHENA International honoree and a top woman in business by Hudson Valley magazine, among other recognitions. Her firm has been recognized as a “Top Women-Run Workplace of the Year” by the Stevie® Awards, an international recognition, and has won numerous awards for outstanding client campaigns.
Karen Shan, co-associate editor, spoke with Filomena Fanelli about how she moves forward by embracing life’s changes, both professionally and personally.
Change can be scary. It often requires people to step into unknown areas, like having to move to a new location or undertake different job responsibilities. How have you been able to see yourself successfully through the many professional and personal changes you’ve undergone?
The most important aspect of embracing change began with changing how I saw myself, which in turn changed how I felt about myself.
Recently, I was listening to the radio, and a woman was talking about a tragedy in her life and how she picked herself back up. She said that life is like a kaleidoscope. All the colors are there, but the second you turn the kaleidoscope, your vision changes and so does the pattern you see. That’s a perfect analogy for what change is like. All the possibilities are there already, but when you shift or make the turn, you see yourself differently and a new view appears. The best things I’ve seen to-date came to light when I allowed myself to keep looking and turning.
At one point you went from full-time work as a public relations executive to becoming a stay-at-home mom and doing consulting work. That’s quite a shift. How did you navigate through it?
While I was climbing the proverbial ladder at Rubenstein Associates, a public relations agency, and growing into my role as a vice president of the company, my husband and I got married, bought a house and had a baby. A few weeks into my maternity leave, I called and said that I didn’t believe I was coming back. It was a big change in our lifestyle. We’d both been commuting (from the Hudson Valley to New York City). I didn’t know what the future would hold, but I knew it needed to look different than what it had been and that it was time to try something new. I thought I’d never work in public relations again or not until my kids — I later had a second child — were grown. It was time to turn another page. No more fancy business lunches; I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. It was scary walking into an unknown, but it was necessary and, in fact, the best thing for me.
Change can be scary. It often requires people to step into unknown areas, like having to move to a new location or undertake different job responsibilities. How have you been able to see yourself successfully through the many professional and personal changes you’ve undergone?
The most important aspect of embracing change began with changing how I saw myself, which in turn changed how I felt about myself.
Recently, I was listening to the radio, and a woman was talking about a tragedy in her life and how she picked herself back up. She said that life is like a kaleidoscope. All the colors are there, but the second you turn the kaleidoscope, your vision changes and so does the pattern you see. That’s a perfect analogy for what change is like. All the possibilities are there already, but when you shift or make the turn, you see yourself differently and a new view appears. The best things I’ve seen to-date came to light when I allowed myself to keep looking and turning.
At one point you went from full-time work as a public relations executive to becoming a stay-at-home mom and doing consulting work. That’s quite a shift. How did you navigate through it?
While I was climbing the proverbial ladder at Rubenstein Associates, a public relations agency, and growing into my role as a vice president of the company, my husband and I got married, bought a house and had a baby. A few weeks into my maternity leave, I called and said that I didn’t believe I was coming back. It was a big change in our lifestyle. We’d both been commuting (from the Hudson Valley to New York City). I didn’t know what the future would hold, but I knew it needed to look different than what it had been and that it was time to try something new. I thought I’d never work in public relations again or not until my kids — I later had a second child — were grown. It was time to turn another page. No more fancy business lunches; I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. It was scary walking into an unknown, but it was necessary and, in fact, the best thing for me.
Filomena (center) Listens as Debra Long, Program Manager for the SNUG Program at Family Services, Speaks During "Admiral Salutes Veterans,"
an Event Recognizing Hudson River Housing's Initiative, VetZero |
It sounds like you made a conscious choice to take a different approach.
I had to rethink how I saw myself. I wasn’t this fast-moving, ladder-climbing public relations executive and that was okay. I went to story time at the library with my kids. I slowed my pace. I took a hard pause — something I hadn’t done in many years. I didn’t want to force my old life to fit in with my new one, even if it meant missing my chosen career. By doing so, I left room for whatever I was going to do next. To make that happen, we made lifestyle and financial adjustments, since without my job, our family’s income was halved. It wasn’t always easy. I felt a bit restless at times; there was a certain degree of being uncomfortable, but I grew to enjoy my new role and found meaning and purpose. Then a former colleague called, asking if I was interested in freelance writing for her boutique public relations firm. She was happy to work around my schedule, so I gave it a shot and loved it. It felt like I got to dip my toe back in the world I loved, but on my own terms. It was the perfect part-time work; I contributed financially to the household, the work was creative and invigorating, and my talent was appreciated by others. |
That sounds wonderful. But in time, you chose to make a major change by taking on entrepreneurship. What spurred that decision, and how did you move from consulting and kids to business ownership?
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My part-time work picked up shortly after I began consulting because, again, my view of myself and what was possible shifted. I was doing public relations work for local nonprofits and small businesses, which led to the founding of my company, Impact PR & Communications. I realized I could still be a wife and mom and community member, too. I’d thought it had to be all or nothing, that I couldn’t possibly do the kind of high-level public relations work I did in New York City in Poughkeepsie, but all of these notions were completely false. I changed my thinking and was amazed at what was possible.
From this experience, I’d tell anyone facing down change that you have to be open to it and willing to step into the unknown. You also need to admit that presumptions you had or thought to be true weren’t necessarily right. It also helps to take micro-steps between changes. For me, it was a slow and gradual realization. I kept opening my eyes to possibilities. I would turn that kaleidoscope and see a different pattern. I kept turning and turning it and, much to my surprise, the colors became more brilliant. I’d been so limited by what I thought was true, but now I know that there’s more to see and urge others to keep looking, too. |
"From this experience, I’d tell anyone facing down change that you have to be open to it and willing to step into the unknown. You also need to admit that presumptions you had or thought to be true weren’t necessarily right." ~ Filomena Fanelli |
Even so, it’s not only uncertainty that can make embracing changes difficult. Sometimes situations stand in the way of moving forward, don’t they?
Filomena (left) and her Colleague, Kate Wark,
Stop for a Smile During the “Admiral Salutes Veterans" Event |
Emotional, financial and situational aspects — all of these things can be obstacles to creating a vision or can delay the timelines we had for ourselves. People don’t always realize what it took to get them where they are until they reflect upon it later. You don’t go from this to that, one clear step to another. Sometimes you have to make a big leap or take a pause in action in order to move forward.
I don’t think I was ready to be the person I am today in 2006 or 2008 or 2009. I needed to change what I thought about myself, gain confidence along the way, and take those small steps. I needed to experiment and try new things. Sometimes I even missed and had to try again, and that’s okay. I also reserve the right to change my mind at any time about what works for me. What works now isn’t necessarily what will work in the future. I try not to worry too much about it. I don’t have to solve all the problems upfront, just the piece in front of me, otherwise it’s too overwhelming. Whenever I speak with a new business owner or someone who’s made a dramatic career shift, I openly share how I’ve changed course and made corrections; by doing so, there was no reflection on the level of my current or future success. Saying that out loud is freeing! |
With the COVID pandemic causing many businesses to enforce changes to stay afloat, how has being able to shift your perspective and being open to possibilities worked in your favor?
Agility combined with humility has helped us through this period to a large degree. We had to have a willingness to make adjustments and be humble enough to know there was a lot that we didn’t know — and still don’t know. I couldn’t anticipate what we needed this year, but I could gather all of the information so we could make the best decisions we could along the way. It was frightening and unsettling, but we have a great team, and I knew we would persevere. We remained there for each other and believed in each other (and still do). We’ve made corrections as we’ve gone along and made it acceptable to talk about changes and fears in real time.
One big change was letting our physical office go. It was a defining moment. I realized that the office wasn’t what made the business a success or proved that we’d made it. I had to redefine what being outwardly “successful” looked like. I’d had limiting beliefs and admitting that helped us move forward. Now, we’re still here without having a physical space and our clients are completely happy. Our team has been able to accelerate to another level and in ways I couldn’t have imagined if I stuck to what we’d known.
Agility combined with humility has helped us through this period to a large degree. We had to have a willingness to make adjustments and be humble enough to know there was a lot that we didn’t know — and still don’t know. I couldn’t anticipate what we needed this year, but I could gather all of the information so we could make the best decisions we could along the way. It was frightening and unsettling, but we have a great team, and I knew we would persevere. We remained there for each other and believed in each other (and still do). We’ve made corrections as we’ve gone along and made it acceptable to talk about changes and fears in real time.
One big change was letting our physical office go. It was a defining moment. I realized that the office wasn’t what made the business a success or proved that we’d made it. I had to redefine what being outwardly “successful” looked like. I’d had limiting beliefs and admitting that helped us move forward. Now, we’re still here without having a physical space and our clients are completely happy. Our team has been able to accelerate to another level and in ways I couldn’t have imagined if I stuck to what we’d known.
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Do you have any other tips about moving forward through change?
To embrace change and be the person you want to be tomorrow, don’t listen to what you’re told about who you are today – those voices we hear around us, telling us who we are and what we can accomplish. Check in with yourself, otherwise you could limit what you can be. In my first job as an administrative assistant, I lacked certain experiences and was told that I would always be in that position. It was false. Ten months later, I’d moved up, and I continued to do so. I was there for eight years, my last position as a vice president. If I had let that comment crush my spirit, or worried about more than what was in front of me, I wouldn’t have been open to learning and growing and becoming who I was meant to be next. Play out what you want as a vision. Feel the emotions. You’ll figure it out, one small step at a time. Say ‘yes’ to the possibility of something new. Once you do that, the rest falls into place. Solve issues as you go. There will always be issues, but that doesn’t mean there’s a problem. Be flexible. There are new opportunities to explore; new, exciting things to come. Make room for the new. |
As the guest host of Hudson Valley News Network’s Business Newsmakers program, Filomena Speaks with Yuwen Chen,
owner of several Dunkin’ Donut shops in Dutchess County, New York |
Find out where Filomena finds sanctuary in a recent #WheresYourSanctuary video montage.
Karen Shan is an award-winning writer who has enjoyed sharing news, insights and trends through her articles for Professional Office Design, Interior Design, the Poughkeepsie Journal, the Beacon Dispatch, Hudson Valley magazine and Hudson Valley Parent, where she also was the magazine’s editor. She currently works with the public relations firm C.C. Sullivan and is an associate editor for Sanctuary.
