Personal Safety
Are you Safe in Your Hood?
March 2022
Even in neighborhoods with low crime rates, street smarts are imperative, especially for women.
One country-turned-city gal shares her personal experience and some general tips that can be used by all – whether you’re a city or country dweller.
One country-turned-city gal shares her personal experience and some general tips that can be used by all – whether you’re a city or country dweller.
By Jillian Crocetta
This past summer, I made my first big move. I left my family’s house in Upstate New York for a twentieth-floor apartment in New York City. My ears, once fine-tuned to the sound of a lawn mower’s hum, quickly readjusted to the sounds of cars honking.
But this is typical: As we acclimate to our surroundings, we grow comfortable with them. I learned that the dog’s bark at 1 a.m. is a woman’s Shih Tzu from the seventh floor, and the roaring ambulances at 5 a.m. are normal for my proximity to a hospital.
But lately, I’ve begun to consider this: Is there such a thing as being too comfortable with these sounds? When does this cognizance dissipate into ignorance?
Women live in a dichotic world. We are told to be smart but be daring. We should surround ourselves with others but also learn to be alone. We should be independent, but we shouldn’t go out alone at night.
Of course, being cognizant is the best way to stay safe in a neighborhood, new or old, urban or rural. Here’s what I learned about creating a balance between cognizance and comfort.
Use Your Phone
Before I lived in New York City, I went to a small liberal arts college in a suburb, where student housing was few and far between. My friend lived a mile away from my townhouse, in a brick stone that overlooked the lake. “I always called you when you were walking home late at night, and you would always call me,” she remembers. We reminisce about how visceral the walks would become. We talked about each building we passed, each person who walked by, and how the stars looked that night.
Phones have great safety advantages. You have a flashlight at your disposal, and a loved one, friend, or emergency operator is just a call away.
Even if there is no one to call, you can still use your acting expertise and pretend. A few times walking home from the subway stop at night, I put the receiver to my ear, pretending I am talking to someone. “I’m two blocks away,” I would say to the night air.
Tip: Of course, your cell phone needs to be charged, and you need to know if there is a network within range for emergency calls when there’s no signal from your carrier network. Most large cities have good cell phone reception. But in some very remote areas, there is no network coverage at all.
Lock Your Door
Your door should always be locked, whether you’re home alone or with friends.
If you have ever lived alone, you dread the perils of a late-night door knock. Perhaps it’s the innocent Amazon delivery worker dropping off a late-night package. But even if it is, you aren’t obliged to unlock and open the door.
If you hear a knock or a doorbell ring, you are entitled to ignore it at any hour, but particularly at night. Use your senses to complement your judgment. If you cannot see who is at your door, do not open it.
Tip: It’s also a good idea to install security cameras if you cannot easily see who is at your door or - in the case of many country folk - you don't have a peep hole. Do not open the door to someone who seems in distress and wants to use your phone. Instead, tell the person you will call 911 for them.
Get to Know Your Neighbors and Make New Friends
This may seem counterintuitive, but keeping your head down, hood up, and blinds shut won’t keep you safe. Take the opportunity to find out who is in your building or on your street. Smile and say hello if it feels right. Be open to new friendships in a new environment, especially to those people you’ve been introduced to from someone else you trust. After all, there is safety in numbers. Plus, having more friends creates more opportunities for you to do things and learn about your surroundings. My new friends have shown me around – to comedy clubs, rooftop restaurants, and fine art exhibits.
The best benefit of meeting people is the opportunity of newfound friendships, but being out and about with a group of people conveniently doubles as a safety net, especially if you are new to the neighborhood.
Tip: Ask a trusted neighbor about areas to avoid if you have moved to a new town or city. Use online, interactive crime maps, available from some businesses such as ADT. Most cities have their own online version available from .gov sites. This is a good tool to use before vacationing somewhere unfamiliar as well.
Let a Friend or Loved One Know Where You Are
“I like to tell my someone where I am going,” another friend tells me. She is an old friend, but a new neighbor in Manhattan. “Or I share my location with her.”
My peers and I always have our phones close by. Sharing our location isn’t really sharing our location as much as it is sharing our phone’s location. And it just so happens that our phones are readily accessible - in our hands, our pockets or our purses.
Admittedly, I have a hard time with this one. I take pride in my independence, so I hesitate to share my location; but I’ve warmed up to the idea of sharing it with one or two trusted people. I have not yet needed that virtual handhold, but one day I might. For now, it’s an easy way to explain where I am in a crowded city.
Tip: As to sharing location in other circumstances: Do not post your location on social media when you’re away on vacation or for the weekend. You are sending a message to others that you are not home. Even if you feel your social media account has the appropriate privacy settings, keep in mind that everything you put into cyberspace can be seen by others.
Stick to Well-Lit Areas at Night and Avoid Desolate Streets
My Manhattan neighbor shares that she only walks on well-lit streets at night.
We do this because it’s easier to see what is ahead of us, and our senses help us detect danger. But we also do this because safety is partially about weighing your odds. The more well-lit the street, the more it is frequented, and the more it is frequented, the more likely you are to find a friendly passerby in a dangerous situation.
Still, walk with purpose. Don’t slow-step with your Maps app open. This makes you a target because it gives others the impression that you are a tourist or you do not know where you are. Instead, try to exude confidence. The more comfortable you look in your neighborhood, the more comfortable you will be.
Tip: In both the country and city, be wary of poorly lit parking lots. Do not park next to a large van or truck because, if something goes wrong, others may not be able to see you. If you are in a store and feel that someone is watching or following you, ask store security to escort you to your car. Better safe than sorry! Also, take advantage of phone apps that track public transportation (such as Moovit). If it's late and a subway is 12 minutes away, it's often safer to remain on the street.
Finally, I want to champion cognizance as a way to stay in touch with life, not only as a way to be safe in the world. Because true, this world can be scary, but it can also be beautiful. And we should be aware of everything: the good, the bad and the ugly.
But this is typical: As we acclimate to our surroundings, we grow comfortable with them. I learned that the dog’s bark at 1 a.m. is a woman’s Shih Tzu from the seventh floor, and the roaring ambulances at 5 a.m. are normal for my proximity to a hospital.
But lately, I’ve begun to consider this: Is there such a thing as being too comfortable with these sounds? When does this cognizance dissipate into ignorance?
Women live in a dichotic world. We are told to be smart but be daring. We should surround ourselves with others but also learn to be alone. We should be independent, but we shouldn’t go out alone at night.
Of course, being cognizant is the best way to stay safe in a neighborhood, new or old, urban or rural. Here’s what I learned about creating a balance between cognizance and comfort.
Use Your Phone
Before I lived in New York City, I went to a small liberal arts college in a suburb, where student housing was few and far between. My friend lived a mile away from my townhouse, in a brick stone that overlooked the lake. “I always called you when you were walking home late at night, and you would always call me,” she remembers. We reminisce about how visceral the walks would become. We talked about each building we passed, each person who walked by, and how the stars looked that night.
Phones have great safety advantages. You have a flashlight at your disposal, and a loved one, friend, or emergency operator is just a call away.
Even if there is no one to call, you can still use your acting expertise and pretend. A few times walking home from the subway stop at night, I put the receiver to my ear, pretending I am talking to someone. “I’m two blocks away,” I would say to the night air.
Tip: Of course, your cell phone needs to be charged, and you need to know if there is a network within range for emergency calls when there’s no signal from your carrier network. Most large cities have good cell phone reception. But in some very remote areas, there is no network coverage at all.
Lock Your Door
Your door should always be locked, whether you’re home alone or with friends.
If you have ever lived alone, you dread the perils of a late-night door knock. Perhaps it’s the innocent Amazon delivery worker dropping off a late-night package. But even if it is, you aren’t obliged to unlock and open the door.
If you hear a knock or a doorbell ring, you are entitled to ignore it at any hour, but particularly at night. Use your senses to complement your judgment. If you cannot see who is at your door, do not open it.
Tip: It’s also a good idea to install security cameras if you cannot easily see who is at your door or - in the case of many country folk - you don't have a peep hole. Do not open the door to someone who seems in distress and wants to use your phone. Instead, tell the person you will call 911 for them.
Get to Know Your Neighbors and Make New Friends
This may seem counterintuitive, but keeping your head down, hood up, and blinds shut won’t keep you safe. Take the opportunity to find out who is in your building or on your street. Smile and say hello if it feels right. Be open to new friendships in a new environment, especially to those people you’ve been introduced to from someone else you trust. After all, there is safety in numbers. Plus, having more friends creates more opportunities for you to do things and learn about your surroundings. My new friends have shown me around – to comedy clubs, rooftop restaurants, and fine art exhibits.
The best benefit of meeting people is the opportunity of newfound friendships, but being out and about with a group of people conveniently doubles as a safety net, especially if you are new to the neighborhood.
Tip: Ask a trusted neighbor about areas to avoid if you have moved to a new town or city. Use online, interactive crime maps, available from some businesses such as ADT. Most cities have their own online version available from .gov sites. This is a good tool to use before vacationing somewhere unfamiliar as well.
Let a Friend or Loved One Know Where You Are
“I like to tell my someone where I am going,” another friend tells me. She is an old friend, but a new neighbor in Manhattan. “Or I share my location with her.”
My peers and I always have our phones close by. Sharing our location isn’t really sharing our location as much as it is sharing our phone’s location. And it just so happens that our phones are readily accessible - in our hands, our pockets or our purses.
Admittedly, I have a hard time with this one. I take pride in my independence, so I hesitate to share my location; but I’ve warmed up to the idea of sharing it with one or two trusted people. I have not yet needed that virtual handhold, but one day I might. For now, it’s an easy way to explain where I am in a crowded city.
Tip: As to sharing location in other circumstances: Do not post your location on social media when you’re away on vacation or for the weekend. You are sending a message to others that you are not home. Even if you feel your social media account has the appropriate privacy settings, keep in mind that everything you put into cyberspace can be seen by others.
Stick to Well-Lit Areas at Night and Avoid Desolate Streets
My Manhattan neighbor shares that she only walks on well-lit streets at night.
We do this because it’s easier to see what is ahead of us, and our senses help us detect danger. But we also do this because safety is partially about weighing your odds. The more well-lit the street, the more it is frequented, and the more it is frequented, the more likely you are to find a friendly passerby in a dangerous situation.
Still, walk with purpose. Don’t slow-step with your Maps app open. This makes you a target because it gives others the impression that you are a tourist or you do not know where you are. Instead, try to exude confidence. The more comfortable you look in your neighborhood, the more comfortable you will be.
Tip: In both the country and city, be wary of poorly lit parking lots. Do not park next to a large van or truck because, if something goes wrong, others may not be able to see you. If you are in a store and feel that someone is watching or following you, ask store security to escort you to your car. Better safe than sorry! Also, take advantage of phone apps that track public transportation (such as Moovit). If it's late and a subway is 12 minutes away, it's often safer to remain on the street.
Finally, I want to champion cognizance as a way to stay in touch with life, not only as a way to be safe in the world. Because true, this world can be scary, but it can also be beautiful. And we should be aware of everything: the good, the bad and the ugly.
Additional Resources:
National Crime Prevention Council (General Resources)
Expert Insights on Community Safety (SafeHome.org)
Resources for Internet and Social Media Safety (Women's Advocates)
Neighborhood Watch Group in Your Area
Self-Defense Guides (SEPS)
National Crime Prevention Council (General Resources)
Expert Insights on Community Safety (SafeHome.org)
Resources for Internet and Social Media Safety (Women's Advocates)
Neighborhood Watch Group in Your Area
Self-Defense Guides (SEPS)
Jillian Crocetta is a New York City-based human resources professional and freelance writer/editor who enjoys writing in the areas of identity, place, empowerment, and health & wellness. She has always been drawn to creative nonfiction and poetry and has a passion for generating stories. In addition to the articles she has written for Sanctuary, her work has been published in New Voices and Spotlight News.